Payday
by Matdeception
Summary: The Diggers need a Payday, Peewee wants Were-cheetah DNA, and Ranma has bills to pay. But what happens when some one has something everyone wants? What can they achieve utilizing the greed of others?
1. Chapter 1

Paying your Bills Written By: Matdeception Draft Begun: 4/22/12 Draft Finished: 4/27/12 Disclaimer: Gold Diggers owned by Fred Perry, Ranma 1/2 owned by Rumiko Takahashi.  
Author Notes: This is tentatively planned as a three chapter mini-fic. I'm sure questions will be raised, the most obvious being the Neko-ken or perhaps the Jusenkyo curse, and all I can say to that is wait for the next chapter. Thanks.  
Also, this was written before I even ordered the GDrom, or ever read a single issue of Gold Diggers. That being said, there will be canonical errors, and I frankly don't give a flying fuck. Hardliners need to relax a bit, it's fine to point out said errors but I'll be damned with the inquisitorial demands that I change shit for anyone.

-0-0-0-

Chapter 1: Payday

-0-0-0-

"Order up! 297!" The burly man shouted, looking over the throng of consumers bustling in his little mom-and-pop burger joint. A pair of giggling teenage girls excitedly skipped up to the counter, ignoring both the food and the cashier as they rose on their tiptoes to see the solitary cook busily working away in the back.

Brianna Diggers slurped her drink, sucking the last few suds of caffeinated goodness down before rising to her feet and moving for another. She had an advantage the teenage girls didn't have, that being her gigantic height of 6'10. She peered over the metal oven that mostly blocked her target from view, catching sight of the young man busily, and acrobatically, flipping burgers and preparing orders in rapid succession. She bit her lower lip, idly refilling her drink as she watched him work. He was Japanese, with bushy black hair done up in a braid, or maybe a pigtail? Whatever; He had light colored skin, a physique that, thanks to the steam of the grill and his own sweat, shown through his simple red Burger Joint work-shirt. Cute didn't begin to do the guy justice, not with his strong confidant look, or those dreamy Grey-blue eyes...

"Excuse me!" an annoying high pitch voiced sounded from her left. Briana blinked, looking down at the two teenagers who had been trying to ogle the same piece of man-meat she had been.

"Hmm?" She frowned, finally noticing a very wet and sticky sensation over her left hand. Brianna grimaced, seeing she had put her cup up in the drink dispenser to be filled, but had gotten lost in her day dreams and left it running until her cup had overflowed. Given the clear look of the normally dark drink she enjoyed, and the gasping pew of air bellowing from the machine, she probably left it on long enough to drain what was left of the syrup pack. "Nuts!"

The Burly cashier sighed, turning back and shouting, "Oi! Brat! Dr. Fizz ran out!"

"Again?" the cute cook sighed, rounding the oven and casually hopping over the counter. "I swear I just replaced that damn thing an hour ago!"

The two teenage girls next to her sighed, puppy dog eyes filled with visions of hearts and rainbows as the eye-candy that had lured them all into the store to begin with moved towards them. The young man nodded to them as he knelt down next to Brianna, sliding the cabinet open where he began to fiddle around with the syrup bags inside.

Mischievously, Brianna hiked up her skirt ever so slightly. She ignored the glares from the girls next to her who, like the amatuers they were, had pants and couldn't pull this brazen a trick. "Having trouble?" she breathed huskily, leaning a bit too close for modesty sake. The young man fiddled with a hose, attaching it to a fresh syrup pack before sliding the cabinet closed.

"Nope, that should take..." he began, turning to the left where his eyes latched onto her bare mile high legs. Slowly, tantalizingly slow, his Grey eyes raked her flesh from bottom to top, where he seemed to suddenly snap out of his haze and look her directly in the eye. "Eh, sorry about that." he chuckled nervously, pinks tinged pink.

"It's okay." she leaned in closer, much to the aggravation of the two teenagers who began gritting their teeth, "I wanted you to look."

"Did you." The young man chuckled, "Ah, yes, well. That's nice of..." A series of beeps suddenly rang out, the boy tapering off as he reached into his pants and pulled out a cellphone. Brianna didn't feel entirely miffed to be outright ignored in favor of a damn phone call, but she couldn't suppress the pout at it. "You got something for me Goro?" he nodded a few times, whistling at the end, "That much? Hell yeah, sign me up!" he flipped the phone closed and looked back to the Burly Cashier, "Oi! I'm outta here!"

The Cashier balked, looking over the packed store then back to the guy, "You can't be serious! You'd leave me with this packed house?"

"Hey..." the guy shrugged, "... it's not my fault you gave the other wage-slaves the day off. You knew I was on call!"

"Ranma, please!" the man practically fell to his knees, "Please! You can't leave me!"

"Five figures says I can." Ranma shrugged, peeling off his work shirt, much to Brianna's delight, and tossing it at the old codger. "See you later!" he grunted, stepping around her and offering only a kind smile as he took off at a quick pace.

Brianna watched him go, admiring his shirtless back and his taut little ass. 'Well...' she sighed internally, '... at least I know his name now. Ranma...'

-0-0-0-

Erwin 'Peewee' Talon was a genius, a very spoiled if not emotionally stable genius, but he never let something such as sanity or a normal home life get in the way of his goals. Despite that, he never seemed to succeed in what he most wanted ; Acquiring Were-Cheetah DNA from the only Were-Cheetah left in existence! He had tried several methods, some obtuse, some in your face, and all of it pretty much failed. He wondered if it was his own genius that was some how flawed, or the pawns he paid to do the work for him.

A curious question, and one he had decided on a whim to put to the test. Which is why he was where he was now, standing in front of a group of severe looking men, most of which carried assault rifles or mundane weapons of one form or another. Daishi, his pet ninja, walked up and down the line of soldiers, sharing a word or two with them before finally joining the others of his lackluster lackeys near him on the stage.

"My lord Talon." Daishi whispered, ignoring Zelda, the bald bitch, rolling her eyes at what she no doubt considered supreme sycophantry. "We're ready to begin the briefing."

Erwin shrugged. He had given Daishi permission to plan this little operation, purely as an experiment of course, so why not see where it went? He clicked a button on the miniature podium, the lights dimming as a photograph appeared on screen. "Miscreants and unwashed masses..." Erwin began.

"You've got to be shitting me." One faceless mercenary snorted from the crowd, "A peewee dipshit is giving us our briefing? Is this some kind of joke?"

Erwin frowned.

Zelda pulled out a gun and shot the loudmouth, his head blowing apart into so many bits from the force of the blast. The mercenaries near him shuffled a bit, but otherwise did nothing.

"Yes, as I was saying..." the child paused for effect, practically daring anymore interruptions. When none came he continued, "... meet the Diggers." he pointed to the picture on the whitewall above him. "Gina Diggers, a genius of technology and Chinese finger traps." he switched the picture, showing the buxom blond hard at work over various devices, to one picture showing Daishi weeping openly, his fingers caught in a Chinese finger-trap that looked a few hundred years more advanced then anything had a right to be. "She leads their adhoc team, not a particularly dangerous person on her own but give her some paper clips and a roll of duck tape and chances are you'll see your butts atomized by a bootlegged death ray." Erwin wondered if they were taking him seriously, the stone cold faces of the grunts gave nothing away...

One grunt raised his hand, "So she's Mcguyver?"

Erwin frowned.

Zelda sighed, pulling the trigger and dropping another mercenary.

Daishi stepped up, "Please remember; He's twelve years old, and doesn't watch popular television."

"As I was saying..." Erwin drawled, clicking the projector and bringing up the picture of a feral looking woman seven feet tall, with a cheetah spotted pelt, expressive green eyes, blowing a raspberry at the camera. "... Priority target is Brittany Diggers, a were-cheetah and the last of her kind. You're mission, whether you choose to accept or not, is to acquire a DNA sampling using these specialized hypo-syringes my pet gopher is handing out."

A Nubian man in brown leathers sighed, walking up and down the line carrying a box of hypo-syringes

One of the Mercenaries stared at the medical weapon, saying, "So, uh, I don't suppose we have to worry about the other Thunder-cats, do we?"

Erwin frowned.

Zelda aimed the gun...

"Oh, I get it!" The child geneticist laughed suddenly, slapping his knee.

The bald bruiser put the gun away, much to the collective relief of the mercenaries near the idiot who spoke up.

"I hate cartoons." the child snapped, "Ionis!"

The Nubian man sighed, putting a hand on the joking Mercenary, "Sorry about this, bills to pay and all." The mercenary had time to blink before he erupted into a conflagration of hot death, the surrounding mercenaries suddenly very aware how close Ionis had come to touching them when he was handing out the Hypo-guns.

"Last, barring various potential additions listed in your mission briefing, is Brianna Diggers." Erwin almost sounded bored as he brought up the last of the Digger sisters on the projector, a leggy blond decked out in advanced armor of some kind with a bumper sticker pasted to the front proclaiming, "NRA for life!" and 'Hippies suck!' "Gina's technologically savvy, Brittany is physically aggressive, and Brianna is technologically aggressive. Ladies and..." the child paused, frowning, "Lady..." Zelda smiled, "... and gentlemen if Brianna levels anything that looks like a pipe, firecracker, or Mexican food at you I suggest you bend over and kiss your ass goodbye."

Another merc raised his hand, this one not nearly so faceless with his bushy black hair and fierce Grey-blue eyes, "Question."

"Yes?" Daishi stepped up, either intentionally or ignorantly cutting off Erwin just before he could activate the mini-guns hidden in the ceiling.

"What the hell am I suppose to be doing here?" Ranma frowned, "The job description said 'Mundane chores in a highly volatile environment' not, 'assault a group of girls.'"

"Name?" Daishi made a show of looking over some papers

"Ranma Saotome." the young man crossed his arms expectantly.

"Saotome..." Daishi nodded, "...You're the help sent over by Life-sucks Workforce solutions, correct?"

"Yep." the boy nodded in confirmation.

"I have you listed as our sole 'Looter." the ninja hmmed, "You're job will be to loot the bodies of our enemies, or allies, plus any surrounding items of value or potential value for my lord Talon."

Ranma blinked.

Zelda chuckled darkly, "Wait, you mean you actually hired a glorified baggage bitch?"

Erwin frowned at that. Daishi knew he hated waste, and hiring a baggage handler when Zelda, Ionis, or even the ninja himself could carry all the crap just screamed waste. He bit his tongue though, wondering if the ninja had a plan or was just being lazy.

"Right." the pigtailed young man frowned, "I take it these girls are what you meant by 'volatile environment'?"

"Have you ever heard of the Evil League of Nations?" Daishi asked suddenly.

"Can't say that I have." Ranma shrugged.

Ionis chuckled, "Yeah, there's a reason for that."

-0-0-0-

Gina Diggers hummed a tune, idly skimming over the readouts with her curious green eyes. Jinkies, she couldn't quite grasp how she had missed such a potentially lucrative hot spot with her initial scans! Granted, Africa was a large continent, but given the subtle Beta-tech vibrations emanating from the location it seemed entirely unfeasible for her to have missed it. Subsequent scans confirmed there was something there, however, so against all logic she simply had to have overlooked it!

"Hey babe." Ryan Tabot, her on again off again boyfriend peeked over her shoulder. The red-haired martial artist looked sexy in his skin tight blue shirt and matching pants, along with the dragon-hide bracers he had painstakingly saved up over a years worth of cash to acquire, and perhaps the most important piece to his wardrobe - the golden locket she had given him for their one year anniversary. It was touching to see him wear it, and not for the first time the Digger girl was willing to bet they would actually make it a full two years with out breaking up this time. "Is that what I think it is?"

"Yep yep!" Gina chirruped, swiveling in her chair and running her slender fingers over another computer. "I've already deployed an advance scout team to set up a secondary base camp."

"Who all's coming?" Ryan frowned thoughtfully. Gina couldn't help but notice the slight tinge of greed in his voice, and frankly she couldn't quite blame him. Archeological sites didn't exactly grow on trees, they had already gone three months with out a pay day and were really feeling the tightening purse strings. The more people she brought on the expedition, the more she'd have to share, and thus the less everyone would get from their cuts.

"Brianna's already gathering her stuff." Gina shrugged. She didn't need to mention Brittany was coming, she had been on damn near every expedition since the first. "I thought about inviting Penny, but..."

Ryan shrugged, "Hey, just more loot for us, right?" he put his hands on her shoulders, gently kneading the muscles beneath her flesh. "How much time do we have?"

Gina grinned lecherously, "Oh, I think we can spare a few minutes..."

-0-0-0-

Erwin watched the small throngs of mercenaries step through the portal, vanishing to who knew where. He debated about asking, but honestly he didn't really care. Chances are this plan would flop, they'd all be killed or at the very least smashed into a pulp by the Diggers and their allies. Though, he had to admit he was rather impressed with the quality of employee the local Workforce had sent them. Maybe he'd outsource more often?

"Alrighty." Ranma grinned, checking the crates on the small truck. "That's a ton of food stuffs, water, ammo, and enough... uh... adult magazines to entertain an army of sailors. Anything else, boss?"

Erwin nodded, raising his arms. "Carry me, I tire of walking."

The young man frowned, then sighed. "Life sucks."

-0-0-0-

Daishi watched the throngs of faceless mercenaries dispassionately, not quite able to drudge up the needed empathy to care that these idiots were merely pawns in his overall plan to snare the Diggers and finally get Brittany's DNA. They walked in squads through the stable portal Ionis had set up on this end, huffing it through the breech with the kind of emotionless adherence to protocol he expected from ex-military fools.

"You don't honestly think this bullshit plan is going to work." Zelda, the genetically enhanced bruiser snorted from his side. She was fairly pretty, her bald head giving her a type of exotic allure Daishi himself would have been hard pressed to resist back before Lord Talon had enhanced his own physique. Yet, where Zelda saw only power in her augments, Daishi saw a new path to life. It was a fundamental difference, and one he doubted the headstrong woman would ever see in her rage filled tantrums.

"Of course it won't work." Daishi shrugged. "The Mercenaries are merely meant to delay. Little more then sacrifices for the greater goal."

Zelda nodded, cracking her knuckles, "Figured that. We use em to weaken those bitches, then jump in and finish them off?"

"That has about as much chance of success as Ionis does actually paying off his debts." Daishi shrugged, seemingly unconcerned with the fact he just stated the lot of them getting their butts kicked was a foregone conclusion. "It's not us I intend to complete the task at hand."

"Eh?" Zelda frowned dangerously, "Who the hell are you talking about?"

"Hey, red shirt!" Erwin snapped from his perch on Ranma's shoulders, "I'm not paying you to stand around gawking at something so simplistic as a Magical Portal! Move it!" Said Red-shirt grunted, running through the portal like the good lemming he was.

Daishi just smiled.

-0-0-0-

The air-car zoomed through the skies, passing through cloud banks as effortlessly as a bird took flight. Brianna paid the, admittedly beautiful, scenery little of her attention as she thumbed through several pictures on her cellphone. Each displaying a certain young man in various states of undress, with little notes jotted in captions noting potential 'hot spots' she intended to test the first chance she got.

"Like I said." she only half heard Cheetah talking, "Strype said there wasn't anything in that particular section he knew about, but that it was a fair bit away from his old stomping grounds in El Dorado."

Gina, in the front next to Ryan, who drove the vehicle, nodded as she fiddled with a few displays on her makeshift computer table. "I see. We'll just have to see what's there. Peegi and Peebri reported in, our second camp location is set up in case we run into trouble."

Brittany frowned, "Where's Peebrit?"

"She's scouting the outer edge of the dig site." Gina idly pushed some free hair out of her face and behind her ear, "So far all she's reported, and I quote "Never any tuna when I need some.'"

Brianna laughed lightly, "Sometimes I think I made those peebo's a little too much like the real deal!"

Brittany rolled her eyes, "Yeah, yeah." she leaned over, curious jade eyes catching sight of the pictures the Half-Lycanthrope was looking through. "Wow, he's cute!"

Gina hmmed, idly glancing back, "Who's cute?"

"Just a guy I've been stalking." Brianna shrugged, not particularly one to hide the fact she was gunning for a new piece of ass. "He works... or worked, anyway, at the Burger Joint."

"Really?" Brittany blinked, honestly surprised, "I never would have pegged him for a nine to five guy."

Brianna wasn't surprised when a little icon of Gina popped up on her phone, the chibi sticking her tongue at her before the pictures of Ranma fluttered into existence on the holoscreen in the front seat. "What makes you say that?"

"Just look at him." the Were-cheetah grinned, "It's just a picture, but he has the kind of confidence Strype has when he's doing something serious."

Ryan snorted, "Strype is an Alien prince loaded with enough magi-tech to flatten a continent, it's kinda hard not to be confident with that kind of power."

"Jinkies, he is cute!" Gina grinned, ignoring Ryan's half glare, "Details sis!"

Brianna blushed, cutely scratching her cheek, "Uh... his name is Ranma? He, uh, looks like he works out and..."

The red-headed martial artist blinked, "How long have you been stalking him?"

"A couple of months." she admitted hesitantly.

Gina and Brittany both blinked, the genius of the two recovering first, "Wait, what? Two months and all you know is his name, where he works, and that he exercises?"

"He's just a tough nut to crack, is all!" The half-lycanthrope defended hotly, "It's not like I'm the only girl after him, the Burger Joint is constantly packed with women trying to catch his attention!"

Ryan snorted, "Yeah right. Like a guy flipping burgers for a living is the kind of guy women want to date."

"Better then a loud mouth know-nothing-know-it-all hack of a martial artist." Brianna snapped back.

"Okay, I think that's enough of that." Gina interrupted, glaring at the both of them in turn. "Ryan, you really need to keep that foot out of your mouth, it isn't cute at all. And Bri, seriously, letting Ryan bait you like that?"

Brianna just grumbled, glaring out the window.

"Question!" Brittany jumped in, "If you know his name, and have his picture, why haven't you just used Gina's tech to find out about him? I mean, given the digital age we're living in, there has to be something you can find!"

"Eer..." Brianna sweated, "... yeah, well, I kinda only learned his name today. By sheer happenstance."

Gina boggled, "What the... are you sweet on this guy? I mean seriously, two months and you only know his name and have a few risque pictures?"

"Mah, shut up, alright?" the Half-lycanthrope sighed in embarrassment, "Look, after this little expedition I'll buy the sexiest drop-dead gorgeous dress I can find and have my way with him, alright?"

"That's my sister." Gina said with a grin.

-0-0-0-

Peebri scanned the defenses, relayed the lines of fire from the turrets to the surroundings and making sure every possible approach was covered with the defenses. It never hurt to be prepared, Bits only knew how many 'expeditions' tended to involve laying a withering salvo of hot death before everything was said and down. The little peebo manipulated the console with her long 'head' tails, tapping a few buttons before ignoring the auto-mated turret as it began to build and position itself.

Peegi, the entirely too curious Peebo based on Gina, busied herself setting up a series of metallic pillars in a triangle in the center of the camp. "Jinkies!" she suddenly stopped, eyes lightning up as she spotted a gigantic (to a Peebo) ant crawling near one of the pillars. Slowly stalking the thing and utterly forgetting the task she had been given, Peegi wandered after the little insect as it made it's way into the jungle.

Peebri just rolled her robotic eyes. Just as well, at least that little goodie two-shoes wouldn't be around to stop her test firing. "Turrets, flamers, constructs of beautiful destruction!" she shouted through her built-in speakers, "Test firing pattern echo-blazing-boom-boom is go!"

The mini-guns began to spin, flamers letting out small gout s of flames as nearby boxes rose up on thick metal legs, the outer casing popping off and revealing missiles nestled with.

"FIRE!"

-0-0-0-

Erwin was rather enjoying this outing. The tightly packed trees and thick canopy of green above did much to block the suns light, but created a natural sauna that made all but the hardiest of brutes sweat miserably.

Ranma looked up at the kid on his shoulders, frowning, "Do you carry a personal air-conditioning bubble wherever you go?"

"Who doesn't?" The evil-hearted child shrugged in response, looking as cool as a cucumber in the air bubble surrounding his upper-torso. He was a genius, but that genius tended to lean more towards genetics rather then technological toys. Still didn't mean he hadn't dabbled in the odd contraption that would make his life easier to endure. God damn it, if mommy and daddy wouldn't even so much as hug him then the least he deserved is such trite comforts!

"My lord Talon." Daishi bowed low, "The mercenaries are in place waiting for the targets to commit. Surveys of the area we expect them to explore has reported a small metal creature, zooming around and complaining about the lack of shopping malls in the area."

Erwin frowned, "Peebrit, if I had to guess." he rested on elbow on Ranma's head, "That begs the question of 'how' you knew the Diggers would be coming to the middle of Africa at this exact point in time."

"Ah, yes." The ninja smiled, not that anyone would see it with his face-mask on, "Recall the time Ionis infected Gina's computer with a multitude of viruses?"

"I remember a hefty bit of capitol going into building that virus suite, only to fail spectacularly at retrieving any data on Brittany's DNA, or pretty much anything worth the effort." the evil-hearted child frowned.

"Yes, well..." Daishi coughed, nervously pulling the collar of his suit, "... while it's true we received nothing immediate for our efforts, Gina didn't scrub all the viruses completely. We had some tertiary fail-safes that laid dormant until well after the events in question passed. With these I was able to... trick the computer into thinking there just wasn't any dig site worth investigating."

Ranma raised an eyebrow, "What? You mean these girls wait till a computer tells them to go treasure hunting? Isn't that stupid?"

Erwin bopped his mount on the head, "I don't remember asking you to speak!"

The pigtailed mount just grumbled.

"Yes, well." Daishi ahemed, "Given the amount of expenditures the Diggers habitually sustain with their lifestyles, vacations, weddings, experiments and the like I determined three months of 'no hits' would deplete the majority of their financial holdings."

"I see." Erwin nodded, "Then you let the virus reveal specific information about a dig-site at our coordinates, and since the money grubbers are broke they likely jumped at the chance to score a 'pay-day', as they call it."

"Exactly, my lord Talon." Daishi bowed low again. "And given that they're broke, I'm hedging my bets on greed swaying the sisters into bringing as few cohorts as possible.

"Mind if I ask something?" Ranma broke in.

Erwin frowned, but refrained from bopping the young man for his insolence. "Go ahead."

"All you really want is a DNA sample from this Brittany girl, right?" Ranma stressed, continuing as Daishi nodded, "Have you tried offering her a crap load of cash for it?"

Daishi blinked, looking absolutely dumbstruck.

"Meh." Erwin sniffed, "Why pay for something when I can just take it?"

"But..." the pigtail boy sighed, "... aren't you already paying for it? Mercs aren't cheap, never mind gearing them or the hazard pay if this turns out far worse then you figure, y'know? I get the feeling this isn't your first try, so if instead of coming up with all those dumb convoluted plots just bank the cash and offer it to her when she's broke." he eyed Daishi thoughtfully, "Like now, since you made damn sure she wouldn't have a chance to make any cash."

Daishi twitched.

Erwin twitched.

Ranma grimaced as he was bopped on the head, hard.

-0-0-0-

Peebri sighed in contentment, enjoying the smoking remains of what use to be a fifty meter stretch of healthy African forestry now reduced to burnt and shredded corpses. She idly tapped the control console for the turrets, putting them in stand-by. "That'll do gunnies, that'll do."

"YOU MONSTER!" Peegi peeked her head over the shredded remains of a stump, "You nearly killed me!"

"Had to test the defenses." Peebri defended with little remorse.

"What part of 'Secondary, secret, safe' base camp didn't you understand!" Peegi looked at the devastation in awe, "People in orbit could probably see this spot if they tried!"

"Whatever." The destructive AI would have shrugged if it could.

Peegi just sighed, "Mistress is going to be angry when she gets here."

-0-0-0-

'I am so angry!' Brianna glared at the two Peebos, eyebrow twitching in time to the vein pulsing on her forehead. "You two are in soooo much trouble!"

Peegi nudged Peebri, "It was her fault Mistress!"

"Who was suppose to be making sure I stayed out of trouble?" Peebri shot back, cackling a little as Peegi stuttered incoherently at that.

"Enough!" The half-lycanthrope grabbed the AI bombs and tossed them into the trunk of a massacred tree. "You two are in time out! You'll stay in there, or so help me I'll flash your bios!"

"You don't have the balls!" Peebri snapped back, only to freeze at the business end of a plasma pistol shoved into her face. "Okay..." the AI backed up an inch or so, "... Maybe you do."

Peebrit zoomed around the burned down remains of the immediate area, enjoying the freedom to actually get above sixty miles an hour for a freaking change. The little AI-bot of Brittany loved to run, loved to move, and given the amount of foliage and trees she had been forced to trek through since coming here she was feeling positively giddy now that she had some room to move.

"If you're done playing with those toys..." Ryan droned, hefting a back pack from the trunk of the air-car. "... can we get on with it?"

Brianna bristled. More and more she was realizing how much that twerp annoyed the hell out of her; She couldn't understand how the hell Gina could stand him, and that's taking into account she possessed the girls memories! "They aren't toys!" She defended hotly, "Their fully realized AI's of the three of us! They're smarter then you, bucko, and don't you forget it."

"Once the witch leaves we'll be busting out." Peebri's voice was just loud enough to hear from the tree trunk.

"Right." Ryan rolled his eyes.

Brittany frowned, hand on her hip. "Gotta admit Bri, the little peebo's screwed the kitty this time."

"Forget it." Gina interrupted, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose. "We'll just do with out a secondary camp this time. Besides, messed up or not, they did create a hell of a LZ for the air-car."

"See!" Brianna blew the martial artist the raspberry, "More useful then you!"

Peebrit zoomed in, braking and sliding to a halt near Ryan, her little wheels kicking up enough dirt to smack the red-head in the face. "We're cool." she declared proudly.

Gina frowned, shaking her head. "Enough." she leaned down and half-glared at the speed-addicted Peebrit, "Stay here, keep an eye on the camp site. Let us know if anything comes up, okay?"

"You got it, sis!" Peebrit chirruped.

"And make sure your sisters don't get out of timeout." Brianna glared down at the two Peebos in the tree trunk, "I really will flash your bios if you push me on this."

Peebri and Peegi shivered, hugging each other and looking downright scared.

Brittany sighed, idly wondering what her loveable husband was doing that minute.

-0-0-0-

Zelda kept watch on the 'entrance' to this treasure they were using to lure the Digger bitches in. The area was dense with foliage, and unless you took the time to really, really look you'd never see the slight depression hidden behind overgrown trees and vine. She had to admit they created a natural camouflage that really, really did wonders with hiding the way to the treasure. She eyed the men around her, all straight face and hardened men of war, looking ready to bring up the rear once the Diggers had committed to the path.

"Contact." a voice sub-vocalized over the comm-net. Zelda tapped her ear bud, raising the volume ever so slightly. "Four targets from the Northeast, the three primaries and secondary Tabot present."

"Hold position." Zelda ordered, switching the frequency to command, "Diggers coming in, looks like Daishi called it. They only brought that hack of a fighter Tabot with em. No sight of the bitches husband."

"Understood." Erwin's voice answered.

-0-0-0-

"Understood." Erwin answered the augmented woman.

Daishi frowned, "My lord, I have need of our 'looter'."

Ranma perked up. Frankly he was ready to do anything if it meant he didn't have to carry this pain in the ass brat around on his shoulders anymore.

"What for?" Erwin rather liked his pigtailed mount.

"The Diggers always set up a base camp, and then always build devices they can call on to let them escape if things turn against them." the ninja explained, "Thanks to the flamethrowers and missile blasts, we know generally where it is. We need to shut this base down before we spring the trap, that's why I hired a professional looter in the first place."

'Professional looter?' Ranma mouthed in confusion.

"Very well." The boy sighed tiredly as he was lifted and set on the ground.

Ranma sighed as he took off to the Northeast.

"Remember! Take everything you can, and break the rest!" Daishi called out as he ran.

Erwin waited until the temporary employee was gone before frowning at the ninja, "You do realize he's likely walking into a base camp complete with enough automated defenses to conquer most third world countries, right?"

"That I do." Daishi nodded seriously.

"Good." the evil-hearted boy said as he pulled out a blow pop, "I don't know how much you were paying him, but I'm glad that's at least one bill I won't have to foot." he frowned, "Pity, he was really useful."

Daishi just smirked.

-0-0-0-

Peebrit was rather impressed with herself; managing to attentively watch the perimeter for a whole five minutes before succumbing to the urge to run around as fast as she could. The holes in the ground from the missiles, as well as the cut down vegetation created a kind of obstacle course she was having just enough trouble navigating to make it truly enjoyable. She had just rounded a bend when one of her wheels hit a bump, just enough of a minor annoyance to cause her slim body to flip over several times before crashing at the most terrible of angles into a small crater near the camp.

"Damn it." The Peebo growled, extending miniature arms from her sleek body to try and right herself. After five minutes she sighed, "Peebri! Peegi! I need a hand here!"

"What's the matter?" Peegi curiously asked, not daring to lift her head out of the trunk enough to see what the problem is.

"I'm stuck, can you give me a push?" Peebrit explained.

"Go oil-change yourself!" Peebri snapped, "Don't do it Peegi, it's a trick! I always knew that Peebrit was out to get us!"

"But what if she's really in trouble?" Peegi cried in dismay.

"Better she gets flashed then us." the destructive AI scowled.

Peebrit would have gritted her teeth if she had any. She had just about decided to sit there until the mistress came back when she heard the tell tale sound of turrets coming online, followed quickly by the computers synthesized voice warning them. "Potential hostile approaching base camp; Permission to activate Extreme prejudice protocols?"

"Yes! Activate the guns!" the little Peebrit snapped.

"Contact at sixty meters and closing. Permission to activate defensive protocols?" the computer returned soon after.

"I said yes, damn it!" the speed obsessed Peebo growled, "Why the hell won't it work?"

"I didn't have time to install voice activation software!" Peegi whined from inside the trunk.

"Oh that figures. You really are worthless, Peegi!" Peebri snapped.

"You're mean!" came the whiny reply.

"Contact at twenty meters, permission to engage?"

"YES DAMN IT! ENGAGE! ENGAGE! ENGAGE!" Peebrit cried, only to groan as the turrets made the tell tale sound of shutting down only a few seconds before a humanoid shadow settled over her. She felt a hand grab her tail, lifting her up out of the crater and left to dangle in front of their intruder. A human male stared at her with curious blue-grey eyes.

"What the hell are you?" Ranma frowned thoughtfully.

"You're worst nightmare!" Peebrit snapped, opening a small panel on her face and spewing a thin stream of oil at the guy. For himself the boy merely tilted out of the way, before casually reaching up and flipping a not-so-well-hidden switch on the back of her tail-fin. Peebrit froze before shutting down.

Ranma shook his head, tossing the little thing into a rather large nap-sack. He glanced around curiously, trying to find more of those little robots. He could a swore he had heard at least two other distinct voices, but try as he might he just couldn't see them. Whatever, he had a camp to loot.

-0-0-0-

Peebri listened intently as their invader did who knows what to the base camp. She knew she should do something, anything really, to stop whatever was happening out there but nine hells she wasn't about to risk getting her bios flashed for anyone, not Peebri, not Mistress, not anybody! Peegi shivered, a look of horror on her tiny robotic face at what was happening, or maybe it was the fact Peebri had one of her head tentacles hovering over her with a little electric wire dangling menacing and just daring the little whiny Peebo to give away their position.

"How the hell am I suppose to loot a car?" They heard their tormentor grumbled, before the sound of tearing cloth reached their ears. A full ten minutes went by before the invader let out a tired sigh, "That should do it."

"Bri!" Peegi whispered ever so softly, "We have to do something! He's robbing us blind!"

"Shut up, Peegi!" Peebri snapped, "You'll give away our position!"

"There you are." a shadow loomed over them. Peebri looked up into the handsome humans face, then scowled before physically launching herself at Peegi.

"THIS IS YOUR FAULT!" she screamed before feeling a thick finger fiddle with her back, then everything went dark as she shut down.

Peegi chuckled weakly, "Thanks." she offered the guy, "She's really mean when things don't go her way."

"I know the type." Ranma said in a tone of long suffering as he stuffed Peebri into a sack. "Anyway, sorry about this, but I'm suppose to loot everything and, uh, you count."

Peegi pouted, "Mercy?"

Ranma raised an eyebrow at the crocodile tears forming on the little robot. Huh, that was a lot easier to ignore on a machine. He quickly found the pink Peebo's off switch and flipped it, before stuffing her into the pack. He spared the Diggers camp one last look over, nodding to himself. Aside from a pulsing small ball he had managed to loot everything and store it away in his adhoced bag of holding. He would have taken the ball too, but honestly anything that might just be an active grenade wasn't something he wanted to be anywhere near. Shouldering the bag, he began hopping past the clearing and through the forest.

Time to meet up with his boss and see if they managed to 'beat' the girls so he could loot them. He sighed mentally as he went, Ranma Saotome, martial arts bad-ass reduced to the position of a glorified baggage bitch. Damn you pops...

-0-0-0-

Gina hmmed, brushing the stone door a bit to see the engravings beneath the caked dirt. If she had to guess this particular dig site hadn't been touched in a least a thousand years, the markings were certainly Kyrn in origin, though far more archaic then the symbolism present in El Dorado before it up and returned to the stars.

Brianna kept watch on the path, decked out in only a Mark 1 survival power armor complete with a face mask with an alternating HUD that constantly shifted from Low-light, to Thermographics, Umbral, and finally Ultra-violet. The Archeologist knew for a fact her technologically aggressive sister kept the Mark 2 and Mark 3 attachments in a dimensional pocket for quick deployment. She didn't think it would be needed, if anything was out to get them they'd probably have attacked by now, especially with the Peebo's frying a significant portion of the African forest. If anyone had been watching they sure as hell would have seen that.

"Path continues on for another hundred feet or so." Ryan said as he rounded the bend from the south, "Dead ends in a cliff face."

"I hate this setup." Brittany scowled, looking up at the high cliffs that lined the path they had been forced to walk. The trail leading here had dipped down into a kind of crevice, which Gina was sure you'd never find if you weren't on the look out for it. Whoever set up this little treasure trove used natural geometry and plant life to all but turn the path invisible.

Brianna suddenly raised her rifle, aiming at the western cliff face. "Contact."

Brittany and Ryan tensed, fanning out and preparing for the worst. Gina ignored them, focusing instead on the doorway.

"False alarm." the half-lycnathrope relaxed as a monkey swung over the edge, hanging on to a vine and blinking at them curiously.

"How much longer, Gina?" Ryan whispered.

Gina shrugged, idly pressing several of the runes. A grin spread across her face as those same rooms glowed briefly, followed by the circular door rolling to the right. "Easy as pie." she said as she turned on a flashlight and inspected the interior. The doorway opened up until a long hallway that extended a ways before it seemed to widen into some kind of circular chamber, but she couldn't make out much else besides that.

Brittany ducked in first, her infra-vision giving her a natural advantage in the darkness. She was followed shortly by Ryan, Gina herself, with Brianna taking the rear. The passage-way did indeed open up into a rather large spherical chamber, a table that rounded the entire far-side of the wall all the way to the opening laden with golden bricks, bags of what looked like rubies, even a scepter of gold here and there. Gina's eyes were immediately drawn to a bluish hewed box resting in the dead center of the table, wrapped in a containment field that shimmered visibly.

Ryan whistled, "Well, this is going to be one of the easiest, and best pay days ever!"

Brianna nodded dumbly, "A little too easy, if you ask me."

"This isn't a tomb." Gina informed as she eyed the box thoughtfully, "I think it's an emergency cache."

Britanny hmmed, looking up and noticing a veranda of sorts built into the wall. "An emergency cache for who, though?"

"The Kryn." The nerdy sister stated matter of factly, "Given the time they arrived, many of the native people dealt in raw currency such as gold and rubies. Mostly decorative to the Krynn, so they'd have little need of it aside as a means to barter if a situation ever called for it."

"Ah." Britanny replied dumbly.

"Bet Strype would have liked to see this place." Brianna mused loudly.

"Eh, we'll take pictures." Ryan said sharply, "Let's get a light-gate set up and start porting the loot back to Atlanta."

The girls shrugged, Brianna doing just that as Britanny busied herself with stacking the loot into the center of the room.

Gina ignored them, quite content to let Brianna and Britanny do all the heavy lifting while she claimed the real prize here. Why oh why the Kryn kept something like this box here she'd never know, but the Beta-tech emanations coming off the box were enough to make her salivate. The shield would prove to be a problem, but like all machines, whether magical or technological, all you had to do was cut the power.

-0-0-0-

Daishi watched the Diggers go about looting the room, his mercenaries were setting up a kill zone at the entrance while he and two squads set up on the veranda overlooking the treasure room. Britanny had looked up at them once, but the disguise field held up under her scrutiny, allowing them all to get in position with nary a problem. He tapped his com bead, "We're in position. Zelda, Ionis, are you ready?"

"Charging the primary entrance on go." The bald bruiser sounded strangely excited.

"Triple checked; If they brought a mage with them he's smart enough not to leave a trail behind. I don't think we'll have a better opportunity then now." Ionis returned boredly.

Daishi grinned, switching frequencies to Ranma. "Looter, what's your status?"

"All done." the young man spoke, "On my way back now."

"Excellent." Daishi returned to the command channel.

Erwin raised an eyebrow at the ninja. The little kid had managed to find a perch on a statue just on the outer-edge of the veranda, and had already set up enough shielding to stave off a nuclear winter. The evil-hearted child clearly wanted to see how well Daishi handled himself now that he had finally been given command over an operation. "That guy lived?"

"Yes, my lord." the ninja nodded, "I should inform you, I didn't hire him lightly. Ranma is quite skilled."

"Really." the boy frowned, then shrugged. "Well, on with it Daishi. I'm in the mood for a nap."

If everything went to plan Daishi knew napping would be the least of Erwin's concerns. He could already imagine the child genius cackling madly as he began exploiting the Were-cheetah DNA to his own ends.

-0-0-0-

Gina stared at the conduit, frowning ever so slightly. Finding an access panel for the shield had proven easy, in fact it was patently obvious this particular security measure wasn't meant to be high end given the low energy level of the security field. The problem is, the computer tied into the shield was very basic, but had enough programming to keep a timer on just how long the field had been activated. According to it, the field activated thirty three hours ago when it detected an unauthorized breech on it's upper level; Which really didn't set well with her at all. If some one else had already found this place, why hadn't it been looted yet? If it hadn't been looted, what were they...

"It's a trap!" she shouted suddenly, but too late as a distortion in the upper veranda briefly took form. Like shattered glass, the image of an empty veranda broke for only a moment as a small cylinder was tossed into the room, landing unerringly next to Brianna, and perhaps more importantly, the portable light-gate she was nearly finished setting up.

Brianna blinked dumbly at the grenade a half second before it went off, a gout of superheated flame bellowing out and blasting the half-lycanthrope clear across the room where she crashed into the wall before sliding onto the stone table and rolling off to the floor with a painful grunt. The light-gate generator was nothing more then a twisted wreckage of metal now.

Gina activated her dimensional pocket, fingers flying in rapid succession over her bracer as several shield generators popped into existence and activated immediately, and not a moment too soon as the disguise field on the veranda shattered rapidly as the harsh buck of automatic gunfire filled the room, followed inevitably by the bullets. The Blond Archeologist winced as the bullets impacted her shield, creating a rain drop effect all over the space in front of her.

Brittany and Ryan lunged for the exit, it's location providing total cover to the gun nest above them.

"Owwie!" Brianna moaned, climbing to her knees. Gina saw the small flicker of her personal shield generator guttering out, the little bit of technology likely the only reason she still had a sister. The half-lycanthrope snarled, running her fingers along her own computer-bracer. The soft swish of displaced air was followed rapidly by hovering armor attachments appearing and linking itself to Brianna's Mark I power-armor, which rapidly upgraded to Mark II as combat sub-machine guns shimmered into existence in her hands.

The half-lycanthrope took to the air as her jet vents opened up, raising her off the ground and keeping her level with the veranda. The concentrated fire shifted to her, but with her upgraded armor her personal shield generator handled it with absolute no problem. "Eat blazing death!" she screamed as she unloaded her guns into the veranda. If she hit anything Gina didn't have a clue, the disguise field broke briefly with each bullet fired, but never enough to get a clear picture of what was going on behind it.

"They're coming up the tunnel!" Ryan shouted as he ducked back into the room, taking cover to the left as Brittany moved to the right.

"Jinkies!" Gina grumbled; Someone really went out of their way to try and kill them. She didn't know if she should be depressed or flattered by that. "Can you hold the entrance?"

Ryan grinned, giving her a thumbs up, "I didn't buy these dragon-hide bracers for nothing, babe!"

"Less talking more fighting!" Brittany snapped!

"Yeah, yeah." The redhead grumbled as his bracers began to glow, a white aura surrounding his form as he stepped into the hallway. The aura buckled slightly under the extreme amount of fire coming through the tunnel, but held firm. Ryan extended his arms out and focused his Chi, the bracers reacting to his will and launching fiery blooms of hot death in long arcs down the tunnel.

Gina used her dimensional pocket to retrieve two guns, one pistol and one sub-machine gun. Grabbing the pistol she risked dropping her shield long enough to fire a single shot through the disguise field. No sooner had she gotten her shield up then Brianna was forced to retreat, flying down and under the veranda, cursing all the way about lack of ammo. Checking her bracer, the blond genius brought up an image from the bullet-mounted camera now buried in the roof on the opposite side of the disguise field. Even though Brianna had been firing blind, it looked like she had dropped a good half dozen of their attackers. She scowled when she caught sight of Peewee watching the firefight from behind his shields. "It's Peewee!"

Ryan blinked, glancing back, "Really?" his momentary distraction nearly cost him his life as his white aura dissipated.

"Ryan!" Brittany shouted, jumping out and grabbing the guy, interposing herself between him and the tunnel entrance just as a hail of bullets came roaring out of the tunnel. Cheetah shudder, her body jolting as she screamed in pain from the repeated shots that peppered the length of her back. Ryan yanked the girl with him as he leapt to the side.

"Cheetah!" he grimaced, turning her on her stomach as he inspected the wounds. Whoever was shooting at them wasn't packing silver bullets, thank god. Cheetah's wounds were already healing rapidly, pushing out the metal slugs and sealing the bloody wounds in rapid succession. She'd still need a few moments before she could get up and fight, but at least she'd be alright.

Gina grabbed her sub-machine gun, locking targets through the camera before she raised her gun up and blindly fired. The bullets streaked up before suddenly curving, following their smart target programming to hit the mercenaries currently raining hot death from above. She was satisfied to see them all jerk back, brief spats of electricity leaping from their bodies as her super-charged taser-rounds incapacitated them.

Brianna threw down her sub-machine guns and stepped out into the tunnel, a panel on up armor breaking apart as a shoulder mounted canon extended. Bullets rained death on her, stopped only by her personal shield generator. Grinning, the half-lycanthrope snarled "Boom-boom is go!" and fired the weapon! A blazing beam of super-heated plasma half her size shot down the tunnel, burning everything in its way to atoms. She scanned the tunnel with her visor, letting her vision cycle through their settings before giving the nearby Ryan and Cheetah a thumbs up, "Tunnel secured!"

-0-0-0-

Daishi glared, idly tossing a dagger at the bullet-mounted camera in the roof. Bloody Diggers and her technological tricks. "Veranda squads are down, what's your status Zelda?"

"Ha! Tunnel squads are burnt to a crisp, I'm pinned down outside. No way would I make it down that tunnel before that gun-bitch wasted me." Zelda barked harshly in return.

The ninja nodded to himself, "Ionis, we need a distraction."

"Fine." the Nubian mage sighed tiredly. Daishi counted to three before the air above the Diggers rent itself apart as magical energy poured free, followed quickly by the mage as he entered the fight.

"Ionis, twelve o'clock!" he heard Gina scream before he vaulted over the veranda, landing lightly near Brianna. The half-lycanthorpe turned to fire her canon once more, but he was ready for that. Leaping into a round house, he slammed his foot into her chest piece, the sturdy metal denting from the force of the blow as she went flying back and into the surprised Ryan, the two getting locked in a tangle of limbs from their sudden collision.

"MOVE ZELDA!" Daishi snapped into the comm-bead.

"Ah that just figures." Ionis suddenly crashed to the floor as Gina brought out anti-magic generators, rolling from long practice rather then slamming face first into the ground. Daishi knew Ionis wouldn't be terribly useful in these tight quarters, but he had done enough just distracting them long enough to clear the way for Zelda to clear the tunnel and join the fight.

-0-0-0-

Ranma stepped over the unconscious mercenaries with a tired sigh, "Guess things aren't going so well, eh, boss?"

Erwin tore his eyes away from the melee below, completely missing Ionis falling, a triumphant Gina Diggers twirling a stun baton expertly in one hand. "What gave it away?" the evil-hearted child bit out sarcastically.

The pigtail boy shrugged, sitting down cross-legged. Daishi was getting stomped hard, tag teamed by that Brittany girl and the red-headed martial arts in rapid succession. He had to admit, watching the fight, that cheetah girl had extreme speed on her side. Her attacks were fairly straight forward, relying on her speed and raw power more then any formalized martial arts. The red-head wasn't bad either, but something just seemed wrong about the way he fought. To be fair, he moved and attacked with skill, but he would do things, minor movements and such that really had no place in the ass beating taking place below. It was almost as if the guy just never figured out how to adapt his style to compensate for changing circumstance.

The girl in the armor, Brianna he thought her name was, was going toe to toe with the bald gun-happy chick from the briefing, with... Gina, yeah that was her name, taking the occasional pot shot. It almost looked like Zelda would get the upper-hand until the half-lycanthrope opened several vents along her armor and blasted pressurized steam into her enemy, using it to blind her and blast back and away just as Gina launched some electro-net from what looked like a miniature mortar with legs. He didn't need to see her to know Zelda was down, the smell of slightly burnt flesh from the electrical burns more then enough to fill him in.

Ranma had a bad feeling about this, "If they lose, do I still get paid?"

"No chance in heck." Erwin droned boredly.

Damn it. If he wanted to make any headway in The Bill he'd need to get his hands dirty after all. "You want that were-cheetah's DNA, right?" he pointed to Brittany just as she suplexed Daishi into the ground.

"Gee, you think?" the evil-hearted child bit out sarcastically.

"How about I go get it for you." Ranma returned with deadly seriousness, "But! I expect a million dollars for the DNA, plus twenty percent of the take from all the loot."

Erwin blinked, looking at him curiously. The child shrugged after a moment, "Whatever. Go knock yourself out!"

"Nice!" Ranma grinned, hopping to his feet. Ah, the things he'd do for money. He stepped past the disguise field, fists clinched in preparation for battle.

-0-0-0-

Brianna winced as she leaned down and picked up one of her discarded guns. Despite the Mark II power-armor she wore, she could still feel the devastating hits from Zelda during their impromptu fist fight. Really, she wasn't an upfront melee fighter, being forced into that position she knew she was lucky to be walking away at all. "That the last of em?"

"Three stooges are all down." Ryan huffed tiredly, hands on his knees as he struggled to catch his breath. "That just leaves Peewee."

Brittany glared up at the veranda, "You hear that you little creep! We're coming for you next!"

The disguise field once again broke, like glass cracking as someone else stepped through it before it quickly reformed.

Brianna blinked, "Ranma?"

Gina gasped, "Jinkies! He really is cute!"

"He flips burgers at the Burger Joint, damn it!" Ryan angrily reminded everyone.

"Damn it." Ranma sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose tiredly, "There goes my customer loyalty." he shook his head before saying, "Look, sorry about this and all, but a job is a job. Why don't you just put down your weapons, let me loot the room and your gear, and get some of her..." he thumbed toward Brittany, "... DNA. That way no one else has to get beaten down, and we get to leave with all our teeth intact!"

A few moments of awkward silence past, broken by a howl of laughter from Ryan, "Oh that's rich!" he slapped his knees, "This guy doesn't just flip burgers, he's a retard!"

"I'll take that as a no." Ranma drawled, "Fine, we'll do this the hard way."

Brianna tensed, bringing her guns to bare but hesitating to fire. She couldn't for a second imagine what Ranma was doing here, or whether or not he could take Peebee ammunition to the face and survive.

"Saotome Secret Technique!" Ranma shouted, "Run away!" he turned and jumped through the disguise field.

Ryan stared for a moment, before rounding on Brittany, "Oh yeah, all kinds of confidence there!"

"Shut up!" Brittany snapped.

"Revised: Surprise!" Brianna whipped around as soon as she heard his voice, catching sight of Ranma as he appeared from thin air, jabbing Gina in the neck with two fingers before rocketing towards an unprepared Ryan. He was moving so fast she only barely saw the red-head get a glowing fist to the gut with enough force to life him several feet off the ground, only to crash face first into the unforgiving floor as Ranma vanished once more.

"Gina!" Brittany shouted as her sister teetered over and flopped to the floor, unmoving.

Brianna cycled through visual spectrum s, getting nothing to so much as hint at Ranma's location or a possible target lock to bring her guns to bear. "I can't see him Brit!"

Brittany grimaced, fists clenched as she slowly backed up, eyes shooting back and forth in expectation of an attack.

The half-lycnathrope saw a brief flare on her thermographics just as Ranma appeared above Brittany in a sideways spin. "Cheets abo..." she didn't get to finish as Ranma slammed his fist on top of Brittany's head, the force of the blow knocking the were-cheetah flat on her face, before he once again vanished.

"Owwie." Brittany moaned, slowing getting back to her feet. "That really, really hurt!"

Brianna had an idea. Whatever Ranma was using to become invisible wasn't magic, he'd show up as pretty as you please on her umbral scanner if he was. Aside from a brief spike in heat when he appeared there just wasn't anything to trace him on. Tapping her armband, several vents all over her armor popped open, gushing super-heated air from her suits power-core that raised the temperature and created a blinding fog in the room.

"Bri! I can't see anything!" Brittany cried from somewhere in the steam filled room.

"Neither can he!" the half-lycanthrope shot back, using her thermographics to scan the room. She couldn't see anything either, the sudden heat build up blinding her HUD, but that wasn't the point. She grinned as her gamble paid off; a slightly cooler humanoid form materialized in her display. Whatever technique or technology Ranma was using adapted to the sudden rise in heat, but not enough to completely hide his presence. "There!" she screamed, firing her guns on full auto. She half noticed him bend down, but the heat trails left by her bullets blinded her fully.

After the bullets stopped, Brittany risked asking, "Did you get him?"

Brianna pulled a small rectangular device from dimensional space, tossing it on the ground. Like a water drain the tiny device began to suck in all the steam, clearing the room and letting them see the results of her inspired handiwork.

Ryan groaned, looking like some one had taken a meat tenderizer to his face, the very weak white force field generated by his bracers guttering out. "I hate my life." the red-head whined.

Behind Ryan, Ranma peered around the abused martial artist turned human shield. "Better you then me, buddy." he half joked as he dropped the red-head back to the floor. Brianna frantically started to reload as the pigtailed martial artist flew towards her rapidly. As quick as she was, as practiced as the motions were for her, the half-lycnathrope didn't have a prayer of beating the young man's sheer speed. He stepped into her guard, fore and middle fingers extended and glowing a pale blue light as he jabbed at her weapons, her shoulder canon, and finally her visor. She vaguely heard 'Bakusai Tenketsu; Revised! Minor note.' before her visor just wasn't there anymore. Neither were her guns, now that she noticed, just small piles of broken metal falling from her hands.

Ranma reared back and slammed the power-armor wearing girl in the chest, launching her clear across the room to slam painfully against the wall. Brianna slumped after finally coming to a stop, unmoving. "Three down, one to go!"

Brittany zoomed towards the boy, gritting teeth as she poured her speed and strength into one massive punch. The guy caught her fist, a resounding meaty whack echoing over the chamber from the blow. "Crap!" she cried as he stepped into her guard, fist glowing and rocketing towards her midsection.

Ranma froze before hitting her, eyes widening, "What the? That isn't fair!"

Cheetah didn't know nor care what the hell he was talking about, she knew an opportunity when she saw it. With her free hand she grabbed his shirt and yanked him closer, meeting his face with her forehead and a nasty headbutt. He let her fist go, staggering back from the blow, but she wasn't about to let him get away with such a small love tap. She rushed in through his broken guard, slamming punch after punch into his torso before bodily lifting him up and slamming him into the ground.

Ranma grunted, blocking her follow up ground stomp and rolling onto his feet, into a back flip, before leaping back up to the veranda. He glared at the girl, "Seriously, just give up! Girls in your condition shouldn't be fighting like this!"

"Oh I'm so going to crush your head like a grape!" Brittany scowled.

"Are all pregnant chicks this crazy?" the pigtailed man wondered loudly.

Cheetah blinked, eyebrow raised as she echoed curiously, "Pregnant?"

"What, you didn't know?" Ranma blinked, before nodding seriously. "Okay, maybe you aren't crazy then. Still, after I put you down gently you should really think about taking a hiatus or something." He finished before vanishing in a blur.

Whether by instinct or sheer luck, Brittany punched her fist forward and caught the invisible Ranma in the face, his form shimmering into existence from the blow, but if it did more then break his invisibility the were-cheetah couldn't tell as he grabbed her wrist, stepped in and jabbed her elbow with his free hand. Brittany winced, her arm falling useless from the simple strike, but her tormenter wasn't done as he pulled her forward, kicking out her feet from under her and forcing her to land painfully on her knees. She was struggling to get up when she felt a searing pain in the middle of her back, followed quickly by an extreme sense of weakness as she flopped to the floor. "Owwie." she moaned miserably.

Ranma sighed, idly pulling out the medical weapon Ionis had handed out earlier, "Yeah, sorry about this, but bills and all." he offered in apology before jabbing her in the butt. Brittany gritted her teeth as the hypo-syringe did it's work, sucking out blood and her DNA with it. Cheetah tried to struggle, but found herself unable to do much of anything besides breath. She didn't have to worry about that much longer, as her tormenter calmly jabbed her on the side of her neck with his fingers and darkness claimed her.

-0-0-0-

Erwin did something he couldn't quite ever remember doing; he smiled. A real, honest to goodness smile that made his evil-little heart flutter with something he could only identify as happiness. To think after all this time, after so many failures and catastrophes, all it took to secure victory was to out-source to an independent Agency! "Bravo!" he child cheered, golf clapping as his new favorite employee went around robbing the Diggers, and that Tabot idiot, of their belongings. He jumped off the veranda, his anti-gravity field kicking and and setting him down gently. He moved towards the unconscious ninja, idly splashing him in the face with wake up juice(his own special blend).

Daishi grunted as consciousness was restored to him. He peered around curiously, eying Ranma who was bodily shaking Gina over an open bag, all kinds of gadgets and gizmos falling into the bag from the unconscious blond. "Ah, I see my plan worked!"

"Right." the evil-hearted child drawled, "If your plan was for me to re-negotiate a contract after you utterly failed, then yes, your plan worked."

"It was, actually." Daishi said simply. At Erwin's raised eyebrow he elaborated, "If we had hired Ranma to actually attack the Diggers from the get go, he would have declined. It was only after we had him invested in this venture..." he motioned towards the stacks of gold rapidly disappearing as Ranma got his hands on it, "... that we could manipulate him into action."

Erwin frowned, "Are you saying Mr. Temp. has problems taking what he wants, regardless of who he has to step over to get it?"

"Yes." the Ninja shrugged, "But as you can see, it's not impossible to manipulate him." he grinned happily, "And since everything went to plan, we now, after so much effort, have Brittany's DNA!"

The evil-hearted child giggled, "Oh yes, yes we do!" he idly kicked Ionis in the head, "Up you fool!"

-0-0-0-

Ranma set Brittany down next to the others, looking them over one last time before nodding happily. "I got everything worth taking, or at least that I could figure out how to take." he idly glanced at Brianna, her messed up power-armor still protecting her form. Try as he might he couldn't quite figure out how to remove the blasted thing, and frankly with how damaged it had taken he didn't think it mattered.

Ionis grunted, thumbing towards the portal, "Ride home is up. Let's get out of here, I really could use a shower."

Zelda snorted, idly motioning a gun towards the downed Diggers, "What about them? Kill them or what?"

"I don't care." Erwin shrugged, stepping through the portal and vanishing.

"Kill them it is." Zelda grinned, leveling the gun at Gina.

Ranma frowned, stepping between the bald bruiser and unconscious genius, "I don't think so..."

-0-0-0-

Brianna winced, the pain echoing over her abused body doing much to remind her how badly she had gotten beaten up today. She blearily opened her eyes, catching sight of Ranma standing between Zelda and them with a gun pointed at his head.

"Back off!" Zelda snapped, "These bitches deserve to be shot!"

"The contract was for beating them and looting them." Ranma snarled angrily, "Not cold blooded murder! I won't let you hurt them anymore then we already have!"

Ionis sighed, "Does it matter Zelda? I mean, really, chances are we'll never be bothered by them again, not since wonder-boy here managed to get Cheetah's DNA."

Daishi frowned, staring intently at the bald woman. "Put the gun down, there isn't anything to be gained by gunning them down now."

"I dunno, I'd gain a sense of satis-mother-fucking-faction!" Zelda snapped angrily.

Brianna had heard enough. She carefully reached for her compu-bracer, armored fingers tapping the keys gently as she initiated the emergency recall function. She only hoped the beacon hadn't been destroyed...

-0-0-0-

Zelda grimaced, turning away and shielding her eyes as the Diggers and Tabot vanished in a flash of light. She hissed, glaring at the empty space her enemies had occupied only seconds before. "Damn it!" she glowered at the pigtailed bastard, "They got away! If you hadn't gotten all righteous on me they'd be dead!"

"My heart bleeds for you." Ranma bit out sarcastically, "Doesn't matter now, they're gone, let's just get out of here and be done with it.

-0-0-0-

Brianna hissed as the light-field faded, crashing down on the cold ground unceremoniously. The clearing they appeared it was deserted, no security turrets, no sign of her Peebos, nothing aside from the pulsing recall beacon was left of their base camp. Why the hell Peewee had left this behind she'd never understand, but was intensely grateful they had, otherwise they all may have ended up with a bullet in the head for all their troubles.

Gina, Brittany, and Ryan were still unconscious, laying haphazardly against each other. Tentatively Brianna reached out and grabbed the pulsing recall beacon. She fiddled with several of the settings before setting it back down. A low hum reach her ears as it's secondary function activated, creating a disguise dome of the area to hide their presence. That done, she fell back on her back and drifted off to an exhaustive slumber.

-0-0-0-

With a dull hum the lights came to life, dormant machines beeping as power once more feed their insatiable needs. A throne of hard metal turned on a podium, the evil-hearted child genius known to the world as Erwin Talon gazed upon his laboratory with the same steely gaze popular culture had long since attributed to Gendo Ikari. Holographic displays erupted into life, forming a semi-circle directly in front of the command throne. Behind him a wall shifted out of place, a bulky machine pushing out. The machine was fairly non-descript, it's only function seemed to be a small hole with the words 'Insert Brittany's DNA here' etched along it's outer edge.

"Finally." Erwin grinned, "After so long her DNA is mine. I will study it, I will tease it, abuse it, strip it of everything that made it hers! Then, then I will mold it, shape it, toss the garbage and keep the gems!" he cackled madly, "THE DAY IS HERE! TIME TO PLAY GOD ONCE MORE! HAHAHAHAHA!" he pointed to the little machine behind him, "INSERT THE DNA!"

"Yeah, how about we settle up first." Ranma drawled.

Erwin frowned.

Zelda moved to pull out her gun, but blinked when she realized it wasn't in its holster anymore.

Ranma twirled the hypo-syringe gun in his hand, "A million dollars, plus twenty percent from the loot." he eyed the three knapsacks he had adhocced into bags of Holding with Mouse's hidden weapon style. "The loot can wait, obviously, but I want the million now."

"A million you say..." Erwin drummed his fingers, "... yes, I suppose I should pay you." he sighed tiredly, "But honestly, I'd much rather not have to explain to mommy and daddy just what I spent my lunch money on." he turned his steely gaze to his servants. "Take it from him."

"Gladly." Zelda cracked her knuckles, smiling nastily at the pigtailed martial artist.

"You're double crossing me?" Ranma blinked, clearly surprised.

Lightning dancing over his form as he prepared his chosen spell of indiscriminate destruction, Ionis sighed. "Sorry guy, but bills to pay and all, y'know?"

Daishi sweated, rushing up to the throne and kneeling before the evil-hearted child. "My lord Talon, I beg you to reconsider."

Erwin hmmmed, "Okay." a second later, "Nope, I'd still rather take it then pay for it."

Ranma just sighed, "Okay, I guess we'll do this the hard way." he raised one hand, forefinger and middle finger pressed together, their tips glowing icy blue as he twisted them in the air. "Hiryu Shoten Ha."

-0-0-0-

"You heard right Stan." a news reporter spoke into the camera, "The devastation is unlike anything we've ever seen. Experts are still baffled how a tornado this size could have formed with out the necessary mix of hot and cold air! Or why it's remaining stationary over the Talon residence!"

Genn raised an eyebrow at the TV. "That is weird!"

Seance, her Aura-mage boyfriend nodded with wide eyes. "Whatever could of happened, I wonder?"

"Stan!" the reporter shouted, holding a finger to his ear as he made a show of listening to something. "Stan, we have a survivor coming out of the neighborhood!" the camera rotated slightly, stopping as a pigtailed Asian man stepped around the corner carrying three rather large bags slung over his shoulder. The reporter and camera man raced towards him.

"Sir!" the reporter screamed, "Sir are you alright? Can you tell me what happened?"

The pigtailed survivor blinked, "Uh, what happened with what?"

"The twister!" the reporter pointed at the raging twister in the distance.

"Oh that." the pigtailed man pursed his lips before looking at the camera directly. "Pay your bills."

"What?" The reported blinked.

"It's good advice." the young man defended, "Pay your bills."

The reporter was silent for a moment, "Sir, are you suggesting this event is because some one failed to pay a bill? That God was punishing the Talon's for a late payment?"

"What? No no! I'm not god, I mean..." the boy frowned, "... No, this whole thing was some punk kid's reach exceeding his grasp, alright? I'm just saying it's a good idea to pay your bills."

"I see." the reporter shook his head tiredly.

"Hey, I don't suppose you know anyone willing to buy military grade weapon systems, do ya?" The young man asked curiously, "Or maybe a good gold exchanger."

"No, I, uh, afraid I don't." The reporter dumbly responded.

"Figures." the young man shifted his bags, "I'm outta here." he half snapped as he continued on his way.

"Well, there you have it Stan." The reporter turned to the camera, "In the midst of all this destruction, a bit of advice from the grounded men and women of the Colorado workforce." he leaned towards the camera, "Pay your bills."

-0-0-0-

To be continued... 


	2. Chapter 2

Payday

Written By: Matdeception

Rough Draft Begun: 5/5/2012

Rough Draft Finished: 5/7/2012

Authors Notes: Finished it faster then I thought I would. Anyway, enjoy, C&C and all that jazz.  
Disclaimer: Don't own shit, captain!

-0-0-0-

Chapter 2: The Bill

-0-0-0-

The bleeping alarm roused him from his slumber. Then the bleeping alarm died a cold death as he reached over and smashed it, before picking up the little alarm clock and slamming it on the ground. To add insult to injury, he focused a small amount of Ki and blasted a hole in the floor where the decimated remains of the alarm clock use to be. That done, he flopped back down in his bed and groaned miserably.

Ranma hated Mondays. He tiredly rubbed his face before pinching his cheeks, hard. It was enough to keep him from immediately falling asleep, allowing his muddled thoughts to clear up a bit. After ditching Talon he had hoofed it all the way back home, dropped the swag in the closet and immediately passed out. He wasn't tired, or really all that drained from having to beat up a bunch of girls and then trounce his employers, he was just tired mentally from all the hoops he was having to jump through of late. All because of that damn Bill, because of his stupid pops and the bullshit courts ruling against him. Bah, whatever, he couldn't do anything but work hard for the money if he ever wanted to see her again. Which meant he had to get the hell up and get ready for another sixteen hours at the Burger Joint for a measly nine dollars an hour.

He shook his head, dragging himself out of bed and strolling into the bathroom...

-0-0-0-

Peebri poked her head out of the sack, glancing around cautiously before whispering, "No sight of the bastard."

"Are you absolutely sure?" Peegi asked, curiosity practically spilling over in her tone.

"Sure as sure." Peebri glanced down into the sack. From her vantage she could see stacks upon stacks of weaponry, the turrets from the base camp, as well as the broken down Air-car that the Thief had expertly cannibalized in order to shove something fifty times larger into the sack he had thrown them into as well. Which was kinda awesome, Peebri could admit to herself.

"Good." Peebrit zoomed past her, flipping in the air and landing right-side up on the floor. The Thief hadn't even bothered to shut the closet door, much less secure it, which allowed the speedster Peebo to run out and scope the place out with lightning speed. Peegi floundered out next, her pink shell taking a minor ding as she fell over the edge of the sack and hit the ground upside down. Peebri sighed at the frantic call for help from the curious AI, hopping out of the bag and helping the pink Peebo right herself.

"Seriously Peegi..." Peebrit whispered harshly, "... why don't you just announce to the world that we're here, eh? I'm sure that jerk thief won't have any problems putting us back in diagnostic mode and shoving us in the bag!"

Peebrit returned, sliding to a halt near the doorway, "Thief is in the shower, apartment building, two bedrooms one and a half baths." she grinned a bit, "Guy looks pretty well off, he has one frickin awesome entertainment system! Even that new Hexbot playsystem!"

Peebri blinked, eyes sparkling, "He does? Maybe we can..." she froze, shaking her head angrily, "No! No I won't be distracted by the upgraded graphics, featherlight motion controllers or superior performance of the Hexbot playsystem!"

Peegi blinked, "Why not? It's the best system out there currently."

"In case you hadn't noticed, Peegi, we've been abducted!" Peebrit pointed out helpfully, "Our priorities should be finding the kidnapper and giving him such a pinch he won't soon forget!"

"Well, yeah." Peegi agreed, "But how do you suppose we do that?"

Peebri stared at the pink little peebo like she was crazy, "Uh, we're freaking sentient AI bombs you idiot!"

Peegi snorted, "Well no crap! How does that help us?"

"Didn't I turn you three off?" A male voice spoke above them.

Peebri froze, rounding on the thief and glaring the most hateful glare she could manage; She made her eyes glow red. "No, you fool!" she snapped, "You just set us in diagnostic mode, and now that we're out... DIE!" she launched herself at him, screaming her battle-cry as she triggered her destruction protocols!

Peegi just sighed as the Thief casually caught Peebri by one of her head tails, "That won't work Peebri!"

"Why the heck not!" Peebri snapped, glaring at the human holding her. He just shook his head in plain amusement before dropping her back to the floor with the others.

"It's the HPOAA firmware update we got last time we blew up." Peebrit sounded surprised, finally putting two and two together.

"The HPOAA what now?" Their tormentor blinked, staring down at them weirdly.

Peebri frowned, eyes shimmering as she reviewed the data. She blinked in shock, "The Hot Piece of Asian Ass protocol? Brianna's stalking the same guy who kidnapped us?"

Peegi nodded happily, "Duh! What, you thought we'd just let ourselves be captured like that? The HPOAA protocol won't let us blow up on him until good ole Mom gets a chance to tap it."

"Okay, wow. Just wow." Ranma turned and walked away in a daze. What a bizarre morning!

-0-0-0-

Ranma took a bite from his cereal as he perused the morning paper. Blah blah blah, Weird Tornado tore up a house, blah blah blah, signs of the end times, blah blah blah, pay your bills or God will smite thee. What was with the paper this morning? And seriously, all these religious pamphlets stuffed into the paper was just ridiculous! He sighed, shaking his head and concentrating on breakfast instead.

"Do you mind?" came the synthetic cheerful voice.

Ranma looked down at the little pink robot thing looking up at him curiously. "What?"

"The paper. Do you mind? I need to make sure some of my stock options are fine." Pinky explained cheerfully, which just made him feel weird. Robots can have stock options? What the hell? He tried to buy one stock in Dr. Fizz and got rejected based on his credit score! This robot wasn't even a real person!

"Uh, yeah, sure." he reached down and picked up the Peebo in a daze, setting it down on top of the table. "Knock yourself out."

"Thanks sweetie!" Pinky chirruped, "I'm Peegi by the way."

"Ranma Saotome." he mumbled tiredly, focusing on finishing his cereal and not on the little robot as it started checking the stock portfolio and giggling about net-gains and crap he didn't want to take the time to consider.

"FIGHT!" Ranma blinked in surprise, a loud chorus of cheers coming from his living room followed quickly by the sounds of his favorite video game, Pork Stompers, being played. "What the hell..."

"Oh that's Peebri." Peegi answered absently, "The Peebo with the head-tails, she's depressed she couldn't blow you up, so she decided to try out your Hexbot system."

"Oh." Ranma wondered if it would be at all ethical to pawn robots who could apparently explode. He shook that thought off, focusing on his breakfast until something crashed into his foot. He looked down at the race-car robot, his grey-blue eyes meeting it's jade lenses. "Uh, yeah?"

"Can you open the door?" the robot asked with an absolutely devilish look on its face. Ranma spent five seconds trying to figure out how a robot could suddenly look devilish, then shook that thought off. Such way lay madness, as far as he figured.

"Why?" The pigtailed martial artist had considered its request, and frankly no good reason to let the thing out into the great wide world popped up in his mind.

"There's some dogs in the yard two apartments over." Peebrit said cheerfully, "I want to provoke them into chasing me!"

"And why would I let you do that?" Ranma raised an eyebrow at the little thing.

"Because if you don't, I'll spill oil all over your nice clean carpets!" Peebrit threatened, revving her engine warningly.

Ranma pursed his lips in thought. "So you like to run around, eh?" he grinned then, an idea coming to mind.

-0-0-0-

"YAHOOOOOOO!" Peebrit zoomed through the park, several leashes attached to her tail with a long stick crudely tapped on with duck tape. The stick held a piece of cooked meat that several pedestrians swore looked absolutely divine, and would later admit they had been tempted to eat if not for the stampede of dogs chasing after the little race-car it was attached too.

-0-0-0-

Ranma counted the money, nodding happily, "Let me tell ya Peegi; that has to be one of my most inspired ideas to date."

The little pink Peebo nodded, fiddling with a calculator, "I'll say; Utilizing Peebrit's need for speed in a dog walking venture certainly raises some capita." she frowned thoughtfully, "Hey... didn't you say you had to be at work today?"

"Eh..." he shrugged, "... sure, but it occurs to me I have a closet full of potentially millions of bucks worth of swag to get rid of, so I called in."

-0-0-0-

The Burly Cashier huddled behind the counter, crying tears of misery as his little store filled up to the brim with customers demanding service. "Why Ranma? Why did you abandon me?"

-0-0-0-

"Ah." Peegi nodded, "That would certainly take precedence."

"I thought so." Ranma frowned thoughtfully, "Hey, do you think Pawn shops would take Military grade weapon systems?"

"I doubt it." the pink Peebo spoke her mind, "Unless they happen to be part of the black market, at any rate."

"Those greedy bastards won't deal with me." The pigtailed martial artist grumped, "My credit score is that bad."

"Jinkies!" Peegi gasped in surprise, "I didn't think that was possible!"

"Me either." Ranma nodded tiredly, "But hey, what can I do?"

"Sell it back to Brianna." Peebri offered helpfully.

Ranma looked down at the little robot who wanted nothing more then to explode on him. She had this fake innocent look about her that just screamed 'I'm plotting something, buahahahahaha.' He spent five seconds trying to figure out how a robot could somehow fake an innocent look, and failed. "Okay..." he looked to Peegi, "... would she actually buy it, though?"

Peegi frowned, "I suppose. It's better to buy it at a discount then it would be to rebuild it all from scratch."

"That's right!" Peebri grinned, "And hey! She's probably back by now, so lets go and meet the Diggers!"

Ranma tried to think of a reason to say no, but came up blank. This Brianna girl might just be his best bet for selling some of this crap, and hey, if that failed they might be able to put him in touch with some people who'd be interested in the gold at the very least. Surly they wouldn't hold a grudge about him beating them up and looting them, right?

-0-0-0-

Brianna groaned, eyes fluttering open and wincing at the bright sun blazing it's way into her skull like solar hell-fire. She didn't feel all that great, her bruised body echoing the damage it had sustained in the prolonged fight with Erwins troops. Blearily she got up on her elbows and looked around.

Gina was awake, fiddling with her Recall pulse beacon, using part of her glasses as an adhoc screwdriver to mess with its internal circuitry. Britanny was laying up against a tree, one hand absently rubbing her belly while she glared angrily at a small rock she was idly smacking with her foot, but not hard enough to actually move it apparently.

"Where's Ryan?" the Half-lycanthrope couldn't see hide no hair of the red-headed martial artist.

"Scouting the cache." Gina grumbled, "Hoping Peewee left something behind we could use to call home."

"Ah." Brianna frowned, checking her dimensional storage carefully. Most of her gear was still in there, but that amounted to little more then a few thousand Peebee bullets, a couple Playgirl magazines, a toothbrush complete with minted toothpaste, and some duck tape. Her cellphone was gone, but that she had left in the car by accident anyway. "Any idea how long we've been out?"

Gina looked up at the sky thoughtfully, "Ten? Twelve hours? Hard to say." she rotated her neck, grimacing a bit, "That guy poked me hard enough to sprain my neck, I just know it!"

"Sprained neck!" Britanny scowled, "I can't even lift a fricking five pound rock anymore! Who cares about your neck?"

Brianna blinked, "Huh?"

"I don't know either." Gina grumbled as she worked on the pulse beacon, "Something someone did during the fight seems to have sapped her strength, or so goes the theory!"

"That guy did it!" Cheetah snapped hotly, before losing her angry look and rubbing her belly some more. "He can't have been telling the truth... could he?"

"What are you talking about?" Ryan asked as he entered the clearing.

"Nothing." Britanny snapped defensively.

Brianna shook her head. Well Britanny was certainly in a weird mood, but she guessed when you wake up after getting steam-rolled you were allowed to be pissy. "You find anything, Ryan?"

"Nothing worth mentioning." the red-head shrugged tiredly, "They robbed us blind, looted all the gold, and left us to rot."

The Half-lycanthrope sighed, rubbing her head tiredly. "Well, at least we learned a valuable lesson from all this." she half-glared at Ryan as she said, "Burger flippers kick ass."

Ryan sighed, "Okay, I deserve that one."

Gina snorted, covering a giggle as she closed the little pulse beacon. "Welp folks, here goes nothing!" she flipped the switch and...

-0-0-0-

Seance was having a great day. He got to wake up next to his girlfriend, practice magic with his teacher who lived just a house away, and then come back and screw his girlfriend senseless. Oh sure, Genn liked to munch on his aura after the fact, and that certainly was an initial problem when it came to their relationship, but frankly he couldn't be more pleased then he was now as he walked into his girlfriends shared home with the Digger sisters.

"Whoa whoa whoa!" Genn shouted, her voice carrying through the halls. Seance frowned, hurrying his step. "You were ambushed? Lost everything and were left to rot in Africa?" his girlfriend repeated, a sort of stupefied humor to her tone despite whatever had happened sounding so urgent. She looked at him as he rounded the corner, smiling beatifically, "Don't worry you four, Seance just showed up, we'll have you back lickety split!" Genn nodded once more before hanging up the phone.

"Something wrong?" The Aura mage raised an eyebrow.

"Looks like Gina, Brit, Bri, and Ryan bit off more then they could chew." The Raksasha sighed, "Lost everything, even the Air-car to some kind of super looter. They need a pick up."

Seance nodded seriously, "We'll get them right away."

-0-0-0-

Ranma looked up at the house in awe. These Diggers... holy crap they had to be rich to afford a house this size with such a huge yard! Peebri was right, the Diggers could help him sell all the crap he stole from them! Wait, he frowned thoughtfully at that, that kind of thinking just screamed stupid. He was distracted as he felt a large pull of energy from inside the house, followed by it's rapid expansion as someone did something he had only ever seen Ionis do; Open a portal.

"We're here!" Peebri almost rabidly pulled on her leash, trying ineffectually to drag him to the front door as quickly as possible. Peegi sat on his shoulder, not on a leash simply because out of the three Peebo's he felt she was the least likely to betray him, and if this turned out to be a trap he wanted to make damn sure he'd be able to get away with Peebri so he could... vent his frustrations on the peebo for leading him into it.

"You need to ring the doorbell, Ranma." Peegi chirruped helpfully, ignoring the dark glare the leash-bound Peebri shot her. It wasn't her fault their new boss didn't trust Peebri, she was the one being openly hostile here!

Ranma grunted, ringing the doorbell and waiting. He rung it twice more before kneeling down next to Peebri. "Well, looks like they aren't home."

"We'll wait! They'll be here, Brianna will be here! She'll rescue us, she'll shoot you in the face..." Peebri tapered off with a wince.

"Thought so." Ranma snorted, dragging the little Peebo back towards the street. "You'd figure I'd learn not to listen to crazy robotic girls!"

Peegi hmmed thoughtfully as he hit the streets. "We could always check in with their parents."

"Why would I ever do that?" Ranma snorted, "Especially now, Peebri was trying to get me here just to get shot!"

"And it would have worked too, if it wasn't for those damn kids not being home!" Peebri snapped, waving one of her hair faux arms towards the Digger sisters home angrily.

"Despite my sister's attempt to trick you, the idea is sound!" Peegi pointed out, "Aside from Gina, who always keeps emergency funds for a rainy day, she's awesome like that by the way..." Ranma could actually see the little robot puff with pride at that. "... Brianna doesn't keep a whole lot of extra funds lying around. It would be cheaper for her to buy the gear you looted at a discount then paying full price."

"The gear he stole, Peegi." Peebri pointed out needlessly, "It's not his, we're not his, stop going along with this like we belong to him!"

Ranma pursed his lips in thought, looking down at the angry little Peebo. "But you do belong to me."

"Bullshit!" Peebri snapped hotly.

"No, he's right." the Pink peebo nodded in support of her new boss, "By the International Law of Loot and Salvage, he owns us now."

Ranma blinked. There was an International Law of looting?

Peebri blinked, "What?"

"I know, I was surprised too!" Peegi exclaimed, the pointless glasses on her frame suddenly rising up and pushing closer to her blue eye-lenses. "But with the upswing in treasure hunters and archeologists, as well as the rivalry that spawns because of it, a law was past that specifically states 'Looting' and 'Salvage' are two interchangeable words that mean whoever walks away with it gets to keep it." she paused, before continuing, "This, of course, only applies to areas such as Tombs, Dig-sites, lost lands, and invisible islands with no Governmental oversight."

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!" Peebri cried.

Ranma just sighed, "Whatever. Let's go meet the parents, at the very least I can leave a note or something." Surely nothing bad could happen from meeting the parents, right?

-0-0-0-

Daishi kept his head bowed, both to pay homage to his Master and to make himself as small a target as possible when he inevitably broke out of his stupefied funk and went on a rampage. Zelda was also bowed, but that was more because one of her legs had been broken in the catastrophic tornado that had leveled the home. Ionis hadn't even regained consciousness yet, the Nubian man face-planted nearby one of the few surviving trees from the Ranma-event.

Erwin just stared at his Colorado base of operations in dumb shock.

"Oi..." Zelda said through gritted teeth, "... maybe we should have paid him, eh?"

That did it. Erwin blushed red in rage, rounding on them as he raised one shaking fist, "I want Life-sucks Workforce solutions wiped off the face of the earth! I want their stock holders burned at the stake! I want something to show Mommy so she doesn't spank me for this!"

Daishi shuddered. Oh yes, Mommy Talon was going to be pissed. "My Lord, may I suggest a different strategy?"

"What could possibly be better the nuking those guys off the face of the Earth?" Erwin countered in panicked awe.

"Ranma still has the Were-cheetah DNA." Daishi pointed out, "If we can get it from him, I'm sure your Mother will at least be mollified enough not to ground you for the rest of your life."

"Oh that's a great idea!" Erwin snorted, "Let's go and attack a guy who twisted his fingers and beat the crap out of everyone and destroyed my home!"

Daishi nodded in understanding, "I do not mean to attack him, m'lord. Rather, I suggest we pay him."

Erwin blinked, "Pay him? You want to pay the same guy who..." he sighed, throwing his hands up in defeat, "... Fine, pay him. Just... just pay him."

-0-0-0-

Ranma rang the doorbell, keeping Peebri snuggled in his arms just in case she'd try something stupid in an attempt to escape his employment. Peegi assured him nothing would happen, and even though he liked and trusted the pink robot more then the others, he just couldn't bring himself not to be somewhat paranoid about this little venture.

The door opened, a older but still beautiful red-headed woman answering. There was something about her that set him on edge; The kind of edge he only ever felt when something bigger and badder then him was looking him over and trying to decide if he'd taste good with ketchup or mayo. Frankly he didn't like the feeling, and he knew enough to trust his instincts and swore he wouldn't let anything potentially compromising slip while facing this woman.

"Hello, can I..." The red-head frowned, eyes narrowed as she stared at the Peebos. "... Don't tell me she just left you lying around?"

Peebri just looked at her mothers mother. A sinister idea quickly formed as she screamed in desperation, "HELP US! YOU HAVE TO HELP US! HE'S A MONSTER! He beat up your daughters and left them to rot in Afric..." she froze, powering down as Ranma frantically jabbed her Diagnostic switch.

Ranma sweated at the focused glare the woman was shooting him now. "Uh, you see, it's not quite how it..."

"Oh, I can explain Julia!" Peegi chirruped. Ranma felt a little relieved, if anyone could explain things with out causing a catastrophe he figured it would be the smart little pink Peegi. "Ranma was hired by Talon to loot your daughters stuff. Apparently half way through the mission they re-negotiated his contract and had him beat them all up, loot everything they owned, and ditch them somewhere in the jungles of Africa." Peegi finished happily.

"Uh..." Ranma winced, he could practically see the Chi the older woman was summoning in preparation for his ass kicking. "... that's now how it happened! I swear, just let me explain!"

Julia crossed her arms, waiting expectantly. He could practically hear her thinking 'This should be good.'

"You see..." he began slowly, "... I was hired by Talon through Life-Sucks workforce solutions, and yeah, I did beat up your daughters and steal everything, but then Talon betrayed me and I was forced to beat him up and..." he winced, "... now I'm stuck with a bunch of crap I need to sell, and, Peegi here said Brianna might buy some of her stuff back and... uh..."

"You have got to be kidding me." Julia deadpanned, "What kind of idiot beats up my little girls, then comes here expecting to be able to sell their own stuff back to them?"

"Uh..." Ranma blinked. Y'know, that really did sound stupid. "... Fair point." he sighed, fiddling with a notepad as he wrote his information down. "Still, it's the best idea I have. If you could give them a message when they get back, I'd, uh, I'd be grateful." He held the paper slip in offering.

Julia took it, frowning thoughtfully. "Ranma Saotome, eh?" she folded the paper and pocketed it. "Master Blow."

"Master what?" Ranma blinked before getting a super-powered Ki palm to the face with enough force to launch him clear across town, with Peegi hanging on for all she was worth while a shut-down Peebri flapped in the breeze, drug along by her leash.

-0-0-0-

Gina was glad for magic. A quick portal, a few moments resting, and another portal back by Seance and they were once again home in Atlanta. Sure, she had technology that could mimic the feat, unless said technology had been stolen by some Burger Flipping bad-ass. She didn't know which was more comical, the fact they got their butts handed to them by one guy, or the fact he flipped burgers for a living.

"Gina!" Britanny whined in the rejuvenation tube, poking the glass with her finger, "Hurry up and fix me!"

Brianna fiddled with a computer terminal, slender fingers taping the screen as she pouted, "The Peebo's aren't here."

Gina muted Britanny before the were-cheetah could snap at Brianna. That girl has been volatile since waking up, she just hoped when they fixed her little strength issue the Cheetah they knew and loved would come back. "Doesn't that just mean they haven't blown up yet?"

"Yeah." Brianna tapped a few buttons, "I'm getting a GPS reading, though. They're here in Atlanta."

"That's good, right?" Gina frowned, keeping her attention on the medical read-outs her rejuvenation tank was spewing while Britanny healed.

"Just means they got looted with the rest." The half-lycanthrope laughed weakly, "And since they didn't blow up, I, uh, think it's my fault they got caught at all."

Britanny thrashed in the rejuvenation tank, her face pressed up against the glass as she stared at Brianna with curious eyes.

"Funny story, that." Brianna chuckled weakly, "Since, I, well since I was stalking him so much I didn't want to risk my Peebo's blowing up on him, so, I, heh... created a exception protocol in their hardware that would stop them."

"Well, that answers that question." came the bemused voice of their mother.

Gina glanced at the red-head curiously, "Mom? When did you get here?"

"Soon as I heard my babies got trounced." Julia said simply, looking at Britanny in the tank, the girl squirming a bit but unable to respond despite the look she was getting.

"How'd you hear about that?" Brianna blinked, "We've been back all of ten minutes! Even if Seance or Genn called you as soon as we got home it doesn't make sense!"

Julia snorted, reaching into her pocket and pulling out a folded note-paper. "Apparently your attacker, Ranma Saotome, thought it would be a good idea to come up to my door and tell me all about what happened."

Gina blinked, "What? Isn't that... stupid?"

"I'm pretty sure Peegi and Peebri were sabotaging him." Julia shrugged, "I mean, no one in their right mind could possible think doing that would be a good idea!"

Brianna snatched the piece of paper away, frowning. "His name and number?" she seethed in jealously, half-glaring at her mother, "I've been trying to get this for months, and he just up and hands it too you?"

Julia pursed her lips thoughtfully, "He gave it to me because you hadn't gotten home yet."

"And what, exactly, did he want?" Gina posed the question, tapping a few buttons and draining the regenerative fluid from Britannys tube.

"Apparently..." Julia took a seat as she explained, "... after robbing you, Talon decided to back-stab him and he was forced to trounce them too. Now he has all the loot and no means to sell it, at least not quickly, and was wondering if you'd like to buy any of it from him."

"Jinkies!" Gina groaned, rubbing her forehead tiredly, "Does he think we'd actually pay to get the stuff he stole back?"

"YES!" Britanny snapped, finally exciting the tube and surprising everyone with how angry she looked, "I want my wedding ring back!" she paused to randomly kick a chair, said chair barely shifting with the effort, "Not to mention my strength!"

Julia blinked, "What?"

Brianna sighed, "Long story short, the guy apparently has magic fingers, which he used to knock Gina out with a touch, and we're assuming he did something to sap Britanny's strength."

The red-head blink-blinked. "You..." she shook her head tiredly, gazing at Britanny, "... what do you remember? Where did he touch you?"

Cheetah grimaced, "He jabbed me in the back, right before he stabbed me in the butt and stole some blood for that creepy Peewee!" Gina wondered about that, her sister was looking around with shifty eyes and had once again gone back to rubbing her belly protectively.

Julia frowned, looking at Gina.

"Right here." the bombshell-blond pressed her fingers to her neck.

The red-head turned to Brianna next.

"He didn't touch me." the half-lycanthrope defended, "At least, no direct skin to skin contact. He did touch my guns..." she frowned, "... which completely disintegrated after the fact."

Julia nodded slowly. "Interesting."

"Do you know what he did?" Britanny looked hopeful, "More importantly, do you know how to undo it?"

"I think you may want to be nice when you meet him." Julia sighed, rubbing the back of her neck tiredly. "He sounds like a shiatsu specialist, or he's at least been taught a very specific skill-set with it." she glanced at Cheetah, "If I had to hazard a guess, it sounds like the Moxibustion, a permanent strength-sapping technique unless you happen to know the counter-technique."

"And... do you?" Britanny crossed her fingers.

"Not at all." Julia shrugged, "I only know of the Moxibustion from Leep, and he only knew how to best defend against it." she cracked a grin, "Don't let them touch you."

-0-0-0-

Ranma kicked the door closed behind him, "Stupid uncute tomboys." he snapped as he fell onto the couch. Peegi took the opportunity to slide off him, settling on the coffee table as she painstakingly pulled the standby Peebri up with her leash. "I swear Peegi, I should take Peebri and mail her to the North-pole!"

"Think of the penguins!" Peebrit zoomed in from the kitchen, sliding to a halt near the base of the couch. "Peebri might think they're birds and just go thermal on them."

Peegi nodded even as she began raming herself into Peebri's still form. One ding, two, thee, then victory! The tiny diagnostic mode button depressed, a juttering power-sound humming from the little robot as consciousness restored itself.

"...Africa!" Peebri shouted desperately.

Ranma glared.

"Okay." the destructive AI winced, looking around tentatively. "I guess Julia didn't rofflestomp you, eh?"

"Oh boy did she ever!" Peegi exclaimed. "She one-shotted him!"

"I prefer to think of it as utilizing her own strength to flee." the pigtailed martial artist defended himself weakly.

"And she didn't rescue us?" Peebri blinked, "What the hell does a Peebo have to do to get some respect around here?"

"Cure cancer." Ranma grunted, twisted on the couch a bit. "That or stop trying to get people shot, or punched by uncute psycho tomboys!"

"Like I care about getting your respect!" Peebri sniffed in disdain.

Ranma just looked at her, frowning. "Oh really? No Hexbot playstation for you, one month!"

Peegi winced, backing away from Peebri as she began shaking at that proclamation. If Ranma noticed the way her head-tails jerked angrily he didn't bother to mention it, instead pulling his buzzing cellphone from his pocket and blinking, "Huh, Gina Diggers is calling?"

"See! I told you Julia would give her your message!" Peegi chirped, twirling in place.

"Eh." he shrugged, flipping the phone open and answering the call. "Saotome speaking."

Peebri shuddered. No Hexbot playstation, no beautiful graphics or challenging gameplay to keep her senses sharp! No! He couldn't do that! She randomly tried activating her destruction protocols, but failed. CURSE YOU BRIANNA! CURSE YOU!

"Sure." Ranma sighed tiredly, "A few items, just make sure to bring plenty of cash. I'll see you here at seven." he listened for a second later, before hanging up the phone. "Well, good news."

Peebrit risked the question, "What kind of good news?"

"Looks like they're willing to buy back some of the crap I took from them." Ranma yawned, turning over on the couch and closing his eyes. "They'll be here at seven, with any luck they'll take you three off my hands."

Peegi pouted, "You don't like us?"

"I like you just fine, Peegi." he grumbled softly, "Peebrit's pretty cool too. Peebri's just a nightmare."

"I'll show you nightmare!" Peebri snapped, lunging at the guy with her head tails cracking electricity. She was quite surprised to find her attack deflected as he idly smacked her out of the air, sending her bouncing along the floor and sliding into the kitchen.

"She's just a nightmare." Ranma intoned boredly.

-0-0-0-

Gina set the phone down, frowning thoughtfully at the computer screen. "He's agreed to meet with us about some of our more personal stuff. Just make sure you bring plenty of cash if you actually want to leave with anything tonight."

"And what's to stop us from jumping him and just taking it back?" Ryan snorted angrily.

Brianna pointed to the monitor she was looking at, "He can create Tornadoes, apparently."

"He trounced us once." Britanny grumbled, glaring at the picture of the guy across Gina's screen. "Let's just lick our wounds, get back what we can't readily replace, and wash our hands of this fiasco."

Gina just sighed, rubbing her forehead tiredly, "Look, let's just be calm about this. If we're lucky we won't have to spend very much or even anything at all."

Cheetah looked at her nerdy sister closely, "What do you mean by that?"

"Have you not stopped and asked yourself 'Why' he would want the money?" Gina shot back, "And don't any of you dare think it's simply greed until you do your research!"

Brianna blinked. Honestly she had thought just that, it was the most obvious motivation, and didn't the guy outright state he had bills to pay? "Did you find something?"

"With a full name and a picture it was child s play." Gina grinned, "Ranma Saotome, Age 22, Master of the Saotome school of Anything Goes martial arts, one of the only only people to be systematically banned from all sporting events and arena's for being 'too good', and let's not forget his most important title." she tilted the screen, "The Ten Billion Dollar fool."

Ryan raised an eyebrow at that, "The Ten Billion Dollar fool? What the hell does that even mean?"

"It's what he owes the Japanese Government after three hundred and sixty seven engagements were made in his name, dowry's paid and effectively stolen by his father, Genma Saotome." Gina explained, eying the information scrolling past her monitor, "The courts ruled against Genma Saotome, who fled to parts unknown, forcing the bill to fall to his Son. They took his mother, Nodoka Saotome, into custody until such time as she fulfills the nine-hundred consecutive life sentences, or the full ten billion is paid as restitution to the families involved, as well as to cover the expenses of the Diet from the battles that took place during the course of the trial that damaged massive parts of Tokyo's infrastructure." she paused momentarily, "They've essentially decided to hold his mother hostage until he can pay the bill."

Brianna blinked. "Really?" Wow, and she thought her family had problems when it came time to pay their credit card bills! Holy smokes Ranma was neck deep in debt.

"Bad luck, I guess." Britanny grumbled, no real heat to her words, "But how is this going to help us?"

Gina smiled mysteriously, "Because there is one important caveat in The Bill we might be able to exploit..."

-0-0-0-

Ranma blearily opened his eyes as the doorbell rang. He eyed the clock curiously, frowning at the sight of it. It wasn't seven yet, who the devil could be knocking at his door now? He sighed, pushing himself off the couch and stumbling to the door, idly toeing the whimpering Peebri away so she couldn't escape when he opened the door.

Daishi looked at him, his hands held behind his back non-threateningly. There was a silver-haired girl with him, complete with dusky skin in a skin tight bodysuit that was snug in all the right places. Ranma tried to rack his brains and put a name to her face, but failed. Whoever she was she hadn't been present during the botched Talon operation the day before. "Ah, Mr. Saotome, it's good to see you."

"Before you say anything else." Ranma waved his hand to forestall conversation, "This apartment isn't in my name, nor do I care if I have to blow it sky-high."

Daishi blinked, but nodded slowly. "I see."

"Cool." Ranma glanced at the silver-haired girl, "And you are?"

"Janine." she shrugged in response, otherwise saying nothing.

"A fellow servant to our Lord Talon." Daishi explained.

"And what does that little pip-squeak want now?" the pig-tailed martial artist frowned, "I hope he knows I'm filing a report with the Better Business Bureau after what he tried to pull last night!"

Daishi sighed, "That is your right. Despite my Lord Talons... impulsive actions, he still is very much interested in the Were-cheetah's DNA you managed to acquire. And he's willing to pay for it, might I add."

"Oh is he?" Ranma hmmed, "You do realize the cost for it was one million, plus fifteen percent of the loot, right?"

Daishi grimaced. "Perhaps we can come to a set price? One that doesn't involve treasure you already technically have for yourself."

Ranma nodded, "Sure we can." he paused then, a sinister idea coming to mind. "Bad luck for you, the Diggers already expressed interest in buying some of the loot from me. Wouldn't be cool to sell some of it with out giving them a chance, you know?"

Daishi narrowed his eyes at that, "I see. Are you suggesting an... Auction?"

"Why not?" Ranma shrugged, eying the clock, "They should be here in half an hour or so. Come on in, take a load off while we wait on em."

"An Opening!" Peebri screamed, charging for the door and surprising Daishi and Janine both. Ranma idly grabbed the leash and yanked, pulling the little peebo like a yoyo back into the house before catching it with both arms. "Lemme go you bastard!"

"Nah." Ranma hugged the struggling little Peebo. "And no exploding on my guests!"

Daishi raised an eyebrow at the struggling Peebri, to the Peegi and Peebrit currently watching Speed-Racer re-runs on the television, to the mad-man who'd dare tempt fate by letting sentinent grenades run free in his home. "I..."

"You coming in or what?" Ranma frowned, annoyed.

"If it's the same to you, I think we'll wait outside for now." Daishi respectfully said, taking a step back.

The pigtailed-martial artist looked at him, before shrugging and slamming the door in his face.

-0-0-0-

Gina had shown up first with Ryan, her boyfriend almost growling at the sight of Daishi and Janine standing outside their destination. The blond-bombshell wondered about them, why they were here after apparently screwing themselves over by back-stabbing the guy they had hired to so thoroughly rob them. Daishi remained quiet as she approached and knocked on the door, finding it slightly ajar as it opened with her touch.

"Welcome!" Peegi chirruped as the door opened, "Ah, Gina! So good of you to come!"

"Peegi." the Archeologist kneeled down as Ryan maintained a cool glare at Talons little cronies. "What are you doing?"

"I'm the hostess!" The little pink Peebo grinned, "The boss is in the kitchen making tea and snacks, so he tasked me with bringing the potential buyers inside and finding them a seat!"

"You're his servant?" Gina didn't know what to think of that. On one hand she had hoped for a bit more loyalty from the Sentient AI bombs, but maybe they were just adapting to their circumstances like she herself had to do on more then one occasion when someone big, bad, and powerful demanded it of her?

"Servant?" Peegi blinked, "Oh heavens no, I volunteered!"

"Ah." Gina glanced back, frowning at the cool as a cucumber Daishi and irritated Janine, the later of which was shooting glares back at Ryan with gusto. "What are they doing here?"

Peegi shrugged, moving into the house as she spoke, "They just showed up, wanted to buy Britanny's DNA. Boss didn't care, but said he had already promised you a shot at getting what you want back, so he figures it'll be an auction for that if nothing else."

Peebrit zoomed, sliding to a halt near Gina. "Need an ice cool refreshment?" the speedster asked. Gina only now noticed Peebrit had a new addition she hadn't had back in Africa. It looked like some one had welded a table on-top of her frame that rose up to hip height. Nestled among the tray were various sodas, even a bowl of crackers complete with a salsa dip she couldn't rightly identify.

"You're a waitress?" Gina blinked in surprise.

"Waste not, want not!" Peebrit chirruped, zooming to the other guests that had followed Gina inside.

The Archeologist frowned lightly, "And what is Peebri doing? Not helping with the snacks, I hope!"

Peegi chuckled weakly, looking up above the lengthy table set up near the entrance of the little apartment. "She's having trouble adapting..."

"You're all traitors!" Peebri snapped from her perch. Rather, some one had taken multiple leashes and nailed her to the roof. "Just wait until I get out of here, I'll give you such a pinch you won't soon forget!"

"Quite the upset one, isn't it?" Daishi intoned, suddenly next to Gina. Almost a little to close if the blond-bombshell had to say for herself.

"I bet Peewee was more upset." Gina countered, eyes narrowed slightly. "Must sting; had everything you wanted and lost it all because, what? You didn't want to pay him?"

Daishi sighed, eyes closing slowly. "I do not attempt to understand the minds of geniuses."

"Mah." Gina took a seat at the lengthy table, "Some genius." She glanced towards the kitchen, catching only the briefest of glimpses of their Host as he tittered about doing whatever it was he was doing. She wondered if her little ploy would work, but really given the time constrain she didn't think she had any other choice but to go for it.

-0-0-0-

Strype'gia was having a weird day. Oh, it was generally the same as any other; Get up, go to work, come home and find some new adventure of potential catastrophe waiting for him. As he put his key into the dead-bolt on the front door and opened it he had an extreme sense of deja'vu when Britanny practically pounced him, gibbering those words...

"I lost my wedding ring!" Britanny tried to explain, nervousness in her tone and her trembling body.

"Okay." Strype set his briefcase down. Yep, some new adventure was waiting for him alright. "Where did you lose it?"

"It, uh, kinda got stolen during a raid on a Krynn cache in Africa." his wife mumbled tiredly, "But don't worry! The prick who stole it said he'd sell it back to me! Hopefully I'll have enough to get my strength back too, but don't you worry about that!"

The Prince of the Kyrnn blinked, "Get your strength back?"

"Ah, yes, funny story." Britanny pouted, "He somehow also took my strength. I can barely open doors at the moment, and, uh, yeah that's about it."

Strype sighed, shaking his head. "Don't worry about the ring, we can just buy another one. Whatever he did to take your strength should be top priority."

"NO!" His wife snapped hotly, "I want my damn ring back!"

"Okay." He returned calmly, hugging his wife tenderly. "When are you suppose to meet this man?"

"Eerm..." Britanny chuckled weakly, "...suppose to be there already, actually."

"Then why aren't you?" Strype wondered.

Britanny just sighed. "Brianna's getting dressed, and I couldn't find someone to unlock the front door."

"Hmm? What's the hold up?" Brianna asked as she entered the hall, dressed in a tasteful black shimmer-silk dress that hugged her in all the right places while leaving her legs, neckline, and a fair bit of cleavage exposed.

Britanny rounded on her, pausing in wide-eyed amazement. "Why the heck are you wearing that?"

The half-lycnathrope shrugged, "Hey, even if we get our stuff back or not, I'm planning on taking that guy for a wild night on the town!"

Strype rubbed his forehead tiredly, "Is this really the time?"

"It's the best time." Brianna defended as she walked out the door, "Nothing like a little beefcake to make one forget your troubles! Am I right, or what?"

"Not when that beefcake is responsible for your problems!" Britanny retorted angrily.

-0-0-0-

Ranma took his seat on the opposite side of the long table they had set up for this meeting. He had half hoped his guests would be enjoying a bit of relaxation before they got to business, aside from the leggy blond in the black dress, who winked at him saucily, everyone seemed perfectly content to stare at him blankly or with obvious irritation. That Were-cheetah altered between anger, confusion, desperation, and back to anger as she glared at him, which was a mite bit irritating if he did say so himself.

"Well, ladies and gentlemen." he began slowly, drumming his fingers across the table. "While I wish we could meet on happier circumstances..."

"I'll kill you all!" Peebri snapped from above them, still nailed to the roof where he left her.

"... that just doesn't seem to be in the cards tonight." he leaned down and picked up Peegi, setting her on the table. "So let's get right down to it, starting from left to right." he motioned to the red-headed martial artist. "What do you want back, and how much do you have?"

Ryan frowned, glancing at Gina, who only looked at him blankly in return. "My necklace and bracers." he set a small dufflebag down on the table, "Three hundred large."

Ranma nodded, unsealing the bag before tossing Peegi inside. The little pink peebo rustled around inside before poking her head back out, "Three-hundred grand, American, counted and confirmed!" she chirruped.

"Cool." the pigtailed man flicked his wrist to the side, receiving the Dragon-hide bracers and the little golden locket in his hands before setting them on the table. "Bad news for you though." he tapped the bracers, "I know how much these are worth, and 300k is what I'd charge you for em." he motioned towards the locket, "This though, aside from the gold is pure sentimentality. I'd charge five grand for this." he looked Ryan in the eye, "So, uh, choose which one you want now. When you get the rest of the cash you can come back for the other."

Ryan sweated. The Bracers were actually worth more then 300k, hell they cost him ten million! He was right though, the locket wasn't worth nearly as much, just a bit of sentimentality Gina had given him. He looked at his girlfriend, her eyes set in a frown as she looked at the pigtailed martial artist questioningly. Okay, no help there. Five grand wasn't much, he could pawn some stuff off at home and get it as early as tomorrow, but those bracers... if the guy found out how much they were actually worth... "I'll take the bracers." he practically yelled as he grabbed them.

Gina gave him a blank stare at that.

Ranma nodded, taking the necklace. He idly popped it open and frowned, "A picture of Gina?" He blinked, looking at Ryan in shocked surprise, "Wow man, what the hell were you thinking?"

"The bracers are worth far more man!" Ryan defended himself hotly, "The necklace is just a bit of gold with Gina's picture, I can replace that easy!"

"Oi vey." Peebri grumbled from above the table.

Ranma just shook his head. And they say he didn't understand women. He turned to Gina next, "Well, is there anything you want back?"

Gina half-glared at the red-headed martial artist, before turning back to Ranma. "I'm not particularly sentimental about anything you took."

"Right." the pigtailed guy shook his head, returning the necklace to stuff-space. He turned his gaze to the Were-cheetah. "And the expecting mother; What does she want back?"

Strype, a hairy cat looking dude Peegi had mentioned was Britanny's husband, blinked. "What did you say?"

Ranma raised an eyebrow at that, turning to Britanny. "You haven't told them?"

"I don't even know if it's true!" The Were-cheetah defended hotly, "For all I knew you were trying to get in my head!"

"Wow." Ranma just shook his head, "Your mother, Julia right? She's a martial artist, knows how to use her Chi..." he absently rubbed his jaw. And she was damn good at using it if his face was any judge, "... ask her to check you. She'll be able to spot it lickety split."

Ryan blinked, surprised, "Martial Artists can do that?"

"Need to have better Chi control then a dumb rock, but yeah." Ranma shrugged, ignoring the way the red-headed martial artist grumbled after that. "So what is it you want back?'

"My ring..." Britanny immediately threw out, tentatively biting her lip before continuing, "... and my strength."

Ranma nodded slowly. He had honestly forgotten about hitting her with the Moxibustion. He had only done it to end the fight, and had fully intended to remove it after he finished looting them all, if only Zelda hadn't forced them to port away like that. Yet she was willing to pay for it? Awesome! He idly flipped his hand, a large diamond ring popping into existence, "How much did you bring?"

Britanny looked at Strype, who returned her gaze evenly. "Ah, yes." she reached in her pocket and pulled out a thick stack of bills. "Hundred thousand for the ring..."

"Britanny." Strype sighed, "We can buy another wedding ring, don't waste the money on that!"

"I don't care!" Britanny shot back, "I'll get my strength back somehow, but I won't miss out on getting my wedding ring back!"

Ranma blinked, eying the ring. "Wedding ring?" he boggled, staring at it in wonder. He shook his head after a time, sighing as he slid the ring across the table. "Forget it."

Britanny blinked, "What?"

"If I knew it was your wedding ring I wouldn't have taken it." Ranma explained as he pocketed the hundred grand, "We'll just say this is for removing the Moxibustion and be done with it. I'll remove it before you leave tonight."

"Thank you!" Cheetah cheered, scooping up her ring and putting it back where it belonged. Ranma had to turn his head to avoid the sheer cuteness as she pounced on her husband with frantic sloppy kisses. Lucky guy had a wife who understood there were somethings more important then their intrinsic worth. Kinda awesome, if he did say so himself.

Next up on the table was... Brianna. He looked at her thoughtfully, "And what would you like back?" he asked.

"The Peebos." The half-lycanthrope pointed at Peegi, Peebri, and Peebrit as the little racer returned from the kitchen with a fresh stack of drinks. "And a date."

Gina groaned, "Bri! Now isn't the time for that!"

"Mah, since we're buying stuff, I figured why not see if that was on the table!" Brianna shot back in defense.

Ranma frowned, drumming his fingers along the table. "I don't mind selling Peebri..." he ignored the Peebo cheering happily at that, "... but I kinda like Peegi and Peebrit. Also, I'm not for sale." That was a horse he wasn't going to touch with a ten foot pole. Yes, he wanted to pay that damn bill off, but hell if anyone thought he'd resort to whoring himself out to do it. Literally, not figuratively.

Brianna frowned at that, "The only one you don't want is Peebri?"

The pigtailed martial artist wondered about that. She sounded absolutely pissed at the fact he only cared to be rid of Peebri. "Well, yeah. She's already tried to get me killed twice, never mind how many times she tried to blow up on me." he ignored the glare Brianna shot Peebri at that, "Frankly when something tries to kill me, nowadays I either get rid of it or kick its ass."

"Hmph!" Brianna snorted, crossing her legs and arms as she leaned back in her chair, "Then I don't want anything!"

Peebri boggled, "Mom? Come on, buy me! I'm totally worth it!"

"You tried to get around my HPOAA protocol!" Brianna snapped, "Do you have any idea how much effort I've put into this?"

"Yeah, about that." Ranma drawled, "Thanks for that. I'm flattered I was good enough to be considered a Hot Piece of Asian Ass."

Britanny face-palmed, "Wow Brianna. Just wow."

"Hmph!" the half-lycanthrope snorted, "Well he is! And I would have named it the Ranma protocol, but I didn't know his name at the time!"

"Right, moving on." Ranma sweated, looking towards the silent Ninja expectantly. "And what does the Talon representative want?"

Daishi opened his eyes, "The Were-cheetah DNA."

Strype blinked, looking at Daishi before rounding on Britanny, "He managed to get your DNA?"

"Well, yeah." Cheetah absently rubbed her butt, glaring at the pigtailed guy, "And did you have to jab me so hard? It still hurts, buddy!" Ranma just rolled his eyes at that.

"We're prepared to offer you three million dollars." Daishi threw in.

Ranma nodded, idly flipping his hand out and procuring what looked like a hypo-syringe gun. "That's a fair bit of capitol, eh?"

"Five million!" Strype threw in, glaring at the little Ninja. "No offense, but I'm not letting you get your hands on any part of my wife!"

Britanny blushed, "Awww."

Daishi leveled a steely glare at the alien, "Eight."

"Ten!" came the immediate counter!

"Twelve." the ninja returned calmly.

"Genma Saotome!" Gina shouted.

Ranma froze, gaze snapping to the blond-bombshell Archeologist. "What did you say?"

"I said, Genma Saotome." Gina made a point of flipping her hair, dragging the awkward silence out. "I'll gift wrap Genma Saotome in exchange for everything you have to offer."

"You've done your homework." Ranma said slowly, eying her critically. "Everything I have to offer, eh?"

Daishi frowned, "I... seem to be at a disadvantage."

The blond archeologist blew the ninja the raspberry, "Genius here!"

"What price would I have to set to beat the current bid?" Daishi asked neutrally.

"Nine point four billion." Ranma returned seriously.

"Ah." Daishi frowned, "But Gina doesn't have this Genma yet, does she?"

"Well, no." Gina nervously admitted, already seeing where Daishi was going with this, "Give me a month though and I'll find him!"

"That means if I find Genma Saotome, I could claim the prize she requested in exchange for him?" Daishi looked at Ranma expectantly.

"Whoever brings me Genma Saotome within a months time will get everything, absolutely everything I have to offer!" Ranma returned with passion in his voice. "Good luck finding him though, he's not the greatest fighter out there but I've never met someone as good at getting away as my old man."

"Refreshments coming up!" Peebrit cheered, sliding to a stop near Ranma, a pitcher of lemonade on the stand swaying dangerously before upending and splashing their Host straight in the face. Brianna raised an eyebrow in shocked awe as her stalking target rapidly shrunk, his raven hair turning vibrant red as he gained more curves then he had a right too, not to mention he grew tits!

Britanny blinked, "Rakshasha?"

Ranma sighed, wiping the water off her face, "No, it's a curse." she frowned cutely then, "Cold water turns me into a girl, hot water changes me back. You should know Genma has a curse too, splash him and he turns into a Panda."

Gina stared, "Jinkies! What kind of curse is this?"

"Jusenkyo." Ranma shrugged tiredly, looking down at Peebrit. "Could you get me a glass of warm-water?"

"Sure thing boss!" Peebrit zoomed away even as Peegi lunged at Ranma.

"What the hell Peegi?" Ranma snapped as the Peebo crawled in her shirt and began touching places she really didn't have a right too.

"Jinkies!" Peegi breathed in awe, "Full bodily transformation? And you aren't a shape-shifter naturally! This is incredible!"

Gina shook her head tiredly. "If that's enough, I have a shape-shifting panda to track down!"

Daishi nodded, tapping Janine's shoulder. The two vanished in a flash of light.

The hunt for Genma was on.

-0-0-0-

To be continued...


End file.
